Protect My Other Self: Rewrite
by ShingetsuXMangetsu
Summary: It's baaaaack! Completely rewritten  and better I might add  for your reading pleasure: a thirteen chapter KuroFai Halloween story with daily updates! T to be safe but still plenty of Kurofai and horror! Full explanation in AN, please ENJOY
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT!**

**If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've read it before, exactly one year ago. If you have read this before, I'm so happy you've decided to return and if you haven't, I hope you enjoy...**

**I have gone through each and every chapter, editing and making changes. I ended up re-writing a lot so I'm sure you'll notice a difference (Hopefully in a good way) I even left up the old version, just in case you got the crazy notion to go back and compare/contrast ^^'**

**Once again I'll be UPDATING EVERYDAY leading up to Halloween and I'll be responding to reviews for each chapter in the chapter after it. If you review after I've posted the next chapter, I'll private message you, but you will still get a response.**

**As you know, there will be copious KuroFai, so if that's going to be a problem, I suggest you turn back now...**

**Anyway, please review and let me know how I'm doing^^**

**ENJOY~**

Kurogane sighed and shoved the mattress up against the wall; it wasn't very large, but it was heavy and laying flat on the floor which made maneuvering it a hassle. The room was small and almost dingy, with not-quite-white walls of flaking plaster and bare wood floors that were scratched and chipped. The windows were single-paned and lacked blinds, letting in the dim grey light of their current city.

He and the rest of the group had arrived two weeks prior and Mokona went off about the feather right away. Two weeks later, they were still looking.

Money was tight to the point of strangulation. They had an identical currency left over from their last dimension, a world mercifully similar, and had been staying in some gritty hotel, paying nightly, searching for a feather that was _supposedly_ within a mile. Considering the source, Kurogane couldn't say with confidence that it was on the continent.

But whether they were close to the feather or half-a-world away, they couldn't leave until they found it and so a hotel was no longer an option, along with living off saved money and the proceeds gained from selling exotic goods on the street. They needed long term living arrangements and an income. Multiple incomes. Preferably before they missed any more meals.

The solution turned out to be _Green Meadow Apartments_, a building that turned out to be neither green, nor remotely resemblant of a meadow. At least not any meadow _he'd_ ever seen; if there were meadows somewhere out there comprised of broken bricks, unsettling stains and a less-than-thin veil of cigaret smoke, then Kurogane would stand corrected.

Despite the many non-meadow images _Green Meadow_ conjured- prisons, for one- there was only one vacancy. That was a blessing though, because even though there was only one available apartment, it had been empty for more than a year and the owner was so happy to rent it that he reduced the already low rent. Or maybe he hadn't meant to lower it and Fai had just worked the conversation to their advantage. The ninja spent a good deal of time trying to figure how much of their 'good-fortune' was dumb luck and how much was the blonde talking circles around people. His answer left him wondering whether he should be grateful or scared.

But they got exactly what they paid for; discolored linoleum, stained drop-down ceilings and left over furniture that looked as if it might crawl away. When Mokona bounced on the couch a cloud of dust rose that had them all coughing for minutes on end. There was a perpetual draft, a dripping faucet and a small colony of spiders that had a gauzy metropolis woven into the corner of the living room. They really didn't have a choice.

Kurogane straitened with a sigh. He wasn't really a nitpicker and he knew beggars couldn't be choosers but this place was a _dump_. _That's _why it was so hard to rent he reasoned; all that stuff about the thirteenth apartment being unlucky was total bullshit.

"Kuro-sama!"

Bedroom relatively set up he turned and stalked down the hall to find Fai and the others seated on the living room floor, gathered around an open newspaper. It was a familiar sight from whenever they had to be in one world for too long; the search for jobs was made infinitely easier by the kid's ability to read several languages and by then they all had a decent idea of what jobs they were good at at which ones to avoid. It was a mindless activity, the worst kind in Kurogane's opinion, and he wound up watching his companions as they discussed their limited options.

Everyone looked washed out in the thin grey light; even the mage, who was usually pale, seemed less porcelain or more like the news print he was occupied with, grey tinged and _tired_. His smile still glowed though, independent of his eyes which were the one thing that stood out in the room.

If Kurogane were the type to lie to himself he'd say that he wasn't anymore in tune with Fai's well being than any of the others, but he wasn't so he quietly accepted the fact that he payed _far_ more attention to the blonde and left it at that. Or tried to leave it at that anyway; it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

Jobs acquired-Syaoran and Sakura as waitstaff in a restaurant, Fai and himself at the a nightclub- the blonde decided to take the last of their money and buy groceries. As he made his way to the door, tucking his hair behind his ear and mumbling over a list, the warrior grabbed his coat and followed him, earning a raised eyebrow.

"Kuro-tan is coming with me?"

"You have no sense of direction and if you get lost _I'll _end up looking for you_._"

This earned him another look, this time of either confusion or amusement before acceptance, and Fai turned back into the apartment.

"Daddy's coming with Mommy, you guys know the rules!"

"Mokona's in charge!"

Fai laughed and spun out the door, grabbing Kurogane's arm and pulling him along, smiling gently as they made their way down the hall.

"So what was that about me having no sense of direction?"

He shrugged. He was on dangerous ground and he knew it by the smirk Fai was sending him.

"It's _true_..."

"No, my petulant puppy, it's an impressive exaggeration, especially since we've been here a while. I've only been lost once and it was only because it was a new world. Anyway I was completely fine when you found me."

"You were drunk."

"Which means I was fine enough to accept drinks."

There was no point in arguing with the mage, he'd learnt that long ago. Honestly he just didn't think any of them should be going out alone. The world wasn't at war but it was certainly violent and he didn't trust Fai to not get himself killed. Sure he had the _ability_ to defend himself but he'd already proven in Outo country that he couldn't be counted upon to use it.

Shopping was hell as shopping in any highly populated area is bound to be. Even late as it was the city was very much awake and the streets were crowded as they made their way back, Kurogane wondering how he had ended up with every bag of groceries aside from the one that was easily swinging from Fai's hand as he bounced along beside him.

There was an endless stream of meaningless chatter pouring from the magician as they stood in the elevator and it continued as they made their way down the hall, Fai unlocking the door and stepping inside. Kurogane noticed the sudden lack of white-noise before he noticed that the blonde had stopped directly in front of him or even that the lights were off.

He stepped up beside him and watched on the edge of his vision as Fai's expression turned from startled to puzzled. he could see the kids in the next room, seated stiffly on the couch and entranced by the television. It was the only source of light in the apartment.

"That's odd; they usually don't pay to much attention to TVs."

The ninja shrugged, setting groceries and two sets of bedding down on the counter before flicking on the light. There was a delay as the light flickered but that was all it took for both kids to bolt up, startled. Mokona appeared from one of their laps and shot through the doorway, landing in Fai's waiting hands.

"Mokona will make sure he is real!"

Fai laughed but it sounded more confused than anything else. The kid and the princess crossed the room to them, both radiating anxiety; Sakura looked almost _scared_ though, and Syaoran was watching her carefully.

"Mokona, what are you talking about?"

Mokona ignored him though as the princess suddenly lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He returned the hug without hesitating, worry etched into his featured. He smoothed her hair down a few times and murmured gently.

"You're alright, what's the matter?"

She shook her head without looking up. Fai looked over her at Syaoran who shook his head and bit his lip.

_Later_

"Nothing, Fai-san… sorry."

"It's okay."

He murmured as she stepped away offering a shaky smile.

"Can I help?"

"Sure," He smiled reassuringly, reaching back to the counter and retrieving the bedding.

"You could make up the beds if you'd like."

"O-okay."

She took the bundles and hesitated momentarily before moving off to the bedrooms. Finally, Kurogane spoke up from behind Fai.

"Oi, kid, what's going on?"

"Well," He paused, speaking low, "A little after you left I went to the bathroom and when I came out I heard Sakura-hime talking to… someone. But when I walked into the living room, no one was there. She was talking to a… a space, _and she was_ _saying your name."_

Syaoran looked at Fai as he spoke and the blonde arched his eyebrows.

"You mean-"

"When she noticed me she turned around like nothing was going on. I-I asked who she was talking to and she said she was talking to you. Then she turned around and screamed. I asked why and she said you had disappeared. But you were never _there_ to begin with."

Syaoran reiterated and they nodded. Fai looked around.

"Where was Mokona?"

"Mokona was exploring the air ducts!"

The small white creature dropped out of a near by heating vent and bounced over.

"Mokona didn't see anything but it sounds really creepy!"

"I'm going to go check on Sakura-chan, make sure she doesn't have a fever…"

Fai strode down the hall to where Sakura was making one of their beds and Kurogane focused on Syaoran.

"Well? What do you think?"

"Kurogane-san?"

The ninja leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

"I taught you in Outo how to sense the energy coming off of living things. Don't tell me you didn't try..?"

"N-no," Syaoran stuttered, nervous as to whether he was being called lazy or forgetful. "I remembered. I even closed my eyes to keep from confusing myself. There wasn't anything there."

"You're positive? It wasn't magic or anything? An Illusion? You can still feel the difference between that and anything else, right?"

"Yes, I'm positive; I would have felt something if there had been magic… There just wasn't anything there and Sakura-hime got scared and I… decided to turn on the TV…"

Kurogane raised a critical eyebrow as Syaoran trailed off with an embarrassed flush and tried to explain himself.

"She... _we_ were unsettled," He admitted, "I-I thought the background noise might help…"

"Hmm…"

When Fai returned he moved strait to the counter and started unpacking groceries, seemingly unconcerned.

"She doesn't feel warm, certainly not enough for her to hallucinate… She said she was hungry; she might just need to eat something."

He smiled assuredly at Syaoran and the kid's posture visibly relaxed. He bowed slightly as he retreated, presumedly to help the princess.

The ninja moved to help Fai, silently chopping vegetables while the blonde disassembled a whole chicken with impressive speed. It was several minutes before Kurogane asked the question that had been nagging at him.

"You... think it's okay for them to be sharing a bed?"

He spoke without looking up and, after a small, thoughtful pause, Fai answered in the same manor.

"Yes..." He quirked a grin, "You _know_ what a gentleman our son is and Sakura... just _doesn't_ think like that. Yet. Besides, when they have to be together I have Mokona stay with them."

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that thing's a big help…"

There was a laugh beside him.

"You'd be surprised how observant our littlest companion is. I think I would have heard by now if we had anything to be concerned about."

The ninja did not respond; despite constant claims of Fai's indecency, if the blonde thought it was alright then he didn't have a problem. Regardless, Fai continued.

"Beside, Sakura-chan is so shaken up I think she'll sleep better with company and it's so _cold_ I think they'll _both_ be better off together."

He was right of course; the apartment was _freezing_. They had the heat dialed up as far as it would go but it made little difference unless you were standing right in front of one of the vents. Move more than a foot away and it may as well have been off.

Question resolved the larger man pushed a pile of cut vegetables towards Fai, only to receive more.

**Time to click that fabulous little button at the bottom and tell if you liked it, hated it, wanted to smash your computer, _whatever. _Also, even though I'm updating daily, please remember to subscribe to the story! Thanks for reading and remember to review Review REVIEW^^**

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys^^ Thanks so much to:**

**_mistfur _**

**_BillieJoe80fan_**

**For adding this story to their favorites,**

**_Reianneliese_**

**_wolf1380_**

**_TheGoth24_**

**For adding this to their Story Alerts**

**And special thanks to _Xynostaph_, who did both, as well as add me to their Favorite Authors~ **

**Review responses:**

**_mistfur_:**

**Aww, I'm really happy you liked it enough to come back! I think it's deffinetely a lot easier to read now, you have no idea how horrified I was re-reading the original lol.**

**_wolf1380_:**

**Glad you like it^^**

**_Xynostaph_:**

**Sweetie I like you already ^^- The fact that you went and read the original gives you _major_ points to begin with and then the shear _length_ of you review just wracks up even more! I totally understand what you meant about Kuro and Fai's relaxed/serious conversation at the end; I wanted them to come off relatively comfortable with each other so hopefully I accomplished that. I'm so happy you want to review each chapter, I just hope I give you something worth reviewing each chapter lol. I hope this chap lives up to your expectations, hugs and cuddles, Bella~**

**Alright everyone, now on to the story, please enjoy~**

Sleep was very much welcome.

It would not be the first time he shared a bed with the mage and it certainly would not be the last but it filled him with a strange sense of unease; unfamiliar, though not unpleasant.

_It was annoying at best, the fact that he has trouble sleeping with the blonde laying less than a foot away. He wants to blame it on the other's breathing but he knows it's far to soft and quiet to be keeping him up. He thinks back to his time in the army barracks-Hell, if it doesn't feel like far too long ago-surrounded by dozens of other sleeping men. He never had any problems then so why now?_

Fai was on the outer edge of their bed, nothing more than a mattress pushed against the wall of their room. He lay on his side, one arm tucked up under his head, fingers barely twitching as they tangled in his own hair. Slim shoulders barely rose with each breath but a soft warmth emanated from him and, with the chilled air that surrounded them, it was appreciated. What was not appreciated was the commentary.

"It looks weird, doesn't it?"

The blonde spoke, voice slightly slurred from fatigue and Kurogane cracked one eye open, grudgingly considering what the mage might be talking about.

It might have been that the emptiness of the room made it loom before them, their low angle making it appear larger, imposing.

Or it could have been that, because of the lack of blinds, there was light filtering in from the surrounding buildings and streets so they could see how grey the room was. The light from passing cars cast odd, ever-shifting shadows across the walls.

It _could_ have been one of those things, but it didn't matter because they were being pointed out to him at one o'clock in the morning and he was _tired_. He calmly put his hand over Fai's mouth earning an indignant, but muffled, whine.

"Stop talking. For six hours, just _stop talking_."

Slowly he removed his hand and the silence held for a few moments. Then…

"But it _is _creepy…"

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello my darlings!**

**I have a short chapter for you today but I think it's pretty decent. It's not as chock full of Kurofai as I would like but I'm working on one of the later chapters and trust me, it _more_ than makes up for it ;)**

**Thank you to _MyChampagneSupernova_ for adding this story to her favorites and to _dancingsilverwolf_ for adding this to her Favorite Stories, Story Alert and for adding me to her Author Alert! Lov you guuuuuyzzzzz 3**

**Review responses:**

**_dancingsilverwolf_:**

**So glad you're back! I hope you like this version even more^^-**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**Aww, well, I'm glad you feel awesome, you ARE awesome^^ Yes, it was deffinetely a shorter chapter (so is this one) A lot of the chapters are pretty short and then the last three are suuuuuper long. I'm trying to even that out so the last four are just slightly large ^^' Oh and, yes, Kuro-sama sooooo knows why ;) Delicious is a great descriptive word that I use waaaay too often so feel free to toss it out there and also FANGIRLY SQUEE WHENEVER YOU FEEL THE URGE! Holding it in is is bad for your health you know XD See you next chapter, cant wait to hear what you think^^-**

**Alright, that's it for today, please remember to review and ENJOY~**

The next morning they woke to a dark sky; freezing, of course, but apparently just warm enough for bitter, icy rain to begin pouring overnight.

They were crowded around Fai in the kitchen, all trying to absorb the heat coming from the pan of eggs he was shaking over an orange coiled burner. The brats were using the chill as an excuse to stand close to each other, Mokona balanced on their connected shoulders. Kurogane could see the mage looking up from the food periodically, smiling in their direction.

"Did you all sleep well?"

Fai retrieved a spatula from the drawer at his side, breaking up their food. The question was directed to Sakura, who everyone was watching carefully.

"Fine," She answered, smiling brightly. "You?"

"Perfectly!"

And that left Kurogane wondering what sleeping 'perfectly' entailed.

He was fairly certain that 'perfect' for the mage meant 'dreamlessly'. He had been free of nightmares the night before; if he hadn't been the ninja would have woken. His nightmares were always violent, an ordeal. He'd woken the blonde on more than one occasion, twisting and turning so desperately in his bed that Kurogane had heard him from his own room. He'd never had to deal with it when they roomed together and he had his own theories for why that was, but he kept them to himself, accepting a plate of food and watching the blonde bounce onto the counter beside him.

He always wanted to ask him what he dreamt about. It was a strange sensation for the warrior, wanting to _know_ something like that, instead of just accepting someones privacy and leaving it at that. Somedays he had the fortitude to question Fai, if only for a while. Somedays upsetting the blonde just didn't seem worth whatever answer he thought he would get.

}{

Searching for the feather was drudgery at that point, not that any of them would ever say it; they all wanted to help the princess and admitting to the tedium would only upset her. She seemed to agree though, silent as the rest of them.

They spent the entire day on it none the less. They'd looked in every library, scoured antique stores, the internet; nothing out of the ordinary had happened recently.

Actually, a lot of strange things had happened, they just all had an explanation that did not include a mysterious feather. The one upside was that, in that world, they didn't get nearly as many strange looks as they did in the others. People seemed to take them in stride, questions and all. Mostly they let Fai talk; people warmed to him quickly and he always asked the right questions.

But the day proved fruitless, the only break in the routine being the start of their new jobs. Kurogane wouldn't exactly say he _enjoyed_ being a bouncer-there was no challenge in keeping drunk idiots under control, unless you counted the mage-but it wasn't the most horrible thing he'd ever done and at _Wish, _he could keep an eye on Fai who was tending bar across the room.

He fit right in, as he always did; for someone who always had an underlying air of loneliness Fai never had trouble making friends, even if he didn't tell them very much. There were two others working the bar, a girl slightly taller than the blonde and a man who towered over both of them and seemed almost like a bodyguard. He watched them talk and laugh, tossing tumblers of liqueur over their heads like nothing. Lights pulsed and flashed over the mage, making his eyes sparkle, glowing blue even in the brief flashes of pitch darkness. He had a bit of an audience, watching him entranced while he mixed drinks and moved subtly but _perfectly_ in time with the fast music. It was easy to see why people were drawn to him; he was _fire. _He was bright and explosive; a bombshell. Even if it was mostly an act, he knew Fai was in their somewhere. He wondered what he'd be like free of whatever burden he was shouldering; if the fabricated fire before him would become real.

}{

The slight noise of the mage leaving the bed woke him from a sound sleep and he grumbled as he turned over onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable again. There was no reason Fai's departure should have woken him; the man was silent as a cat when he wasn't being _willfully _disruptive and, though he thoroughly enjoyed irritating the ninja, he was considerate enough to let the man sleep. It was just a side affect of his training, albeit one of the less desirable ones; waking easily was good if you were being attacked, not so good if the hyperactive blonde you roomed with couldn't remember to empty his bladder before going to bed.

So position adjusted and seconds from sleep, he didn't so much as open his eyes when Fai returned and slipped under the heavy blanket. Without hesitation the smaller pressed himself backwards into his chest.

That woke him up _completely. _He kept his eyes carefully shut but his mind was buzzing; even when Fai slept beside him there was always some invisible barrier, never acknowledged but carefully maintained. What the hell was blonde doing? He had to realize, didn't he?

And he was so _cold_; even the fine hair that teased against his mouth seemed chilled and his waist-on which his hand was gently resting-was cool through his thin shirt. It was just strange enough to be concerning and he was about to ask if the mage was alright when he finally heard the toilet flush.

** Uh-oh... How sweet is Kuro, putting his arm 'round Fai? I guess it isn't Fai but... still, It's the thought that counts, right? Please review~**

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi~ **

**Thank you to _laviena_ who added this to her Favorite Stories and to _Kitten-in-the-sky _who added this to her Story Alert~ I luv you guys 3**

**Review responses-**

**_sathreal:_**

**I'm so happy you're back ^^- You're idea is actually about half right... sort of. I can't say which half but... yeah XD I also can't promise a happy ending for anyone other than THE Kurogane and Fai (Yuui). Alternate universe Kuro and Fai are always doomed lol...**

**_Xynostaph_:**

**Your reviews make me laugh so hard and that a GOOD thing, you're hysterical and I 3 _Pixie Stix! _Though gummy bears are more my thing. I think Fai is deffinetely a bombshell, he's the male Marilyn Monroe lol, all spunk and smiles and photogenic~ Thank you, hope you enjoy this chap^^-**

**_laviena:_**

**Lol, 'squee' is quickly becoming my knew fave word! I'm glad you're back^^**

**Alright everybody, check out the AN at the bottom for more goodies, please review and ENJOY~**

}{

_He was so cold; even the fine hair that teased against his mouth seemed chilled and his waist-on which his hand was gently resting-was cool through his thin shirt. It was just strange enough to be concerning and he was about to ask if the mage was alright when he finally heard the toilet flush._

It took Kurogane several long seconds to process the noise and then his eyes were open. The bed was empty aside from himself but that had not been the case seconds ago, he was _sure_. He felt the blankets settle beside him; they had been shifted but he didn't recall moving which must have meant something _was_ there.

He sat up quickly just as Fai-_definitely _Fai-returned and crumpled onto the bed, landing on his back and staring quizzically up at him, eyes half lidded from sleep.

"Did I wake you?"

His whisper was slurred slightly as he brought his hands up to wind his fingers though tangled hair; his skin glowed pleasantly in the feint light of the surrounding city and his head was cocked to the side, exposing his throat. The ninja started to try and explain but stopped himself, watching Fai's heartbeat pulse under his skin, steady and calm. He found himself just wanted to forget about... _whatever_ had just happened and lay back back down. Really, it had to have been a dream; he was beginning to remember small details that had been missing, things that dreams usually _did_ omit- Fai's gentle breathing being one of them.

"No," He shook his head finally. His brain felt sluggish and he didn't think it was from exhaustion. Fai arched lazily off of the bed, grunting softly as he flattened the bunch his shirt had formed underneath of him. When he settled again Kurogane blinked and restarted his sentence. "No, not you... some dream..."

}{

**I don't have much to say today except I'm going to start listing songs that I think go with the general mood of the story. Some of them are for the lyrics and some are just for the tune of the song:**

**Bloody Mary- Lady Gaga**

**What's My Name- Rihanna **

**Mona Lisa- Panic at the Disco **

**Build God Then We'll Talk- Panic at the Disco**

**Running Up That Hill- Placebo**

**Go listen to them cause they're all awesome songs and if you have any suggestions, please leave them in a review~**

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi!**

**So early lol... Thank you to _chichu_-_chan_ for adding this to her Story Alert^^**

**Review responses:**

**_sathreal_:**

** lol, yes, Kuro-chi knows exactly what's going on, he just won't admit it...**

**_SenecaNya:_**

**Thank you^^ That's so funny that you'd find the original so long after I posted it lol**

**Thank so much you guys^^ please review and ENJOY~**

The sound track to the next day was a steady drum beat of rain that seemed to sap everyone's energy. They're daily, desperate search around the areas that Mokona specified was wet and discouraging. By the time they returned home, dinner was a halfhearted affair and sleep was easy.

Until, once again, Kurogane found himself awake at a time that was technically _not_ night but _far_ too early to be considered morning. It wasn't Fai this time; the blonde was sound asleep beside him, face down, hair spread across his pillow so messily that it looked somehow perfect.

_That _was not his problem at the moment though and the ninja shook his head into focusing.

There had been a noise, obviously not loud or the mage would have woken as well, but not a normal, crowded apartment building sound either. The creak of pipes and muffled conversation from other tenants no longer registered with his ears; it was all just white noise.

But the more he strained the more clear the sound of light feet padding across the hard floor of their apartment.

Carefully, more curious than worried, he eased himself into a sitting position and untangled himself from thoroughly heated blankets, hissing a curse when he felt the cold air. It was almost definitely one of the kids but... He wouldn't sleep again until he was sure.

As soon as he shifted Fai tensed and turned his face to the side sleepily.

"Mmh..?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep."

Maybe Fai hadn't been completely awake or maybe he just trusted the ninja's judgment and that he would wake him if need be, but the blonde didn't argue and dropped his head back to the pillow, slurring something unintelligible. Kurogane grunted an agreeable noise in response to _whatever_ he'd just said and carefully moved over him, across the room and out the door.

His gaze **roamed** over the hall, searching for anything out of place. Instead, he found Syaoran.

"Oi..."

The kid turned, startled, and Kurogane raised an eyebrow.

"I heard something but I guess it was you. What are you-?"

"No, I heard it too," The kid explained quickly and glanced at the floor before gesturing. "Look."

There, stretching from the doorway, was a trail of small, wet, footprints. There weren't many though, and they stopped a good way before the end of the kitchen linoleum. They didn't fade or trial off, they simply stopped, vanished. The ninja, rolled his head in thought.

"It was probably you, or the princess earlier, maybe the mage..."

They certainly weren't big enough to be his.

"But," Syaoran's face was twisted into confusion, "What about the noise?"

"Probably someone in the hall."

It was inconsequential and not worth investigating to anyone but the brat, but that was his nature. He and his nature needed to go back to bed though, before Kurogane's nature gave him an even bigger headache than he already had.

"Go back to sleep, I'll take care of it."

"Are you-"

"Goodnight."

The kid blinked before bowing slightly, not one to argue with his teacher.

"Goodnight, Kurogane-san."

He watched the younger retreat to his room before ripping a paper-towel off of the dispenser and swiping up the moisture. It didn't _matter_ how they got there he reasoned; it had to have been one of them, there was no point in worrying about it.

Still, sleep did not return as easily as it first same to him and, for only a moment, he caught himself wishing Fai were awake. The blonde was reasonable, when he chose to be and Kurogane found he trusted his judgment more than... anyone's really.

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	6. Chapter 6

**Good morning^^ **

**Thank you to_ Fujoshi Laivine _who added this to their Favorite Stories list~**

**Review responses:**

**_chichu-chan_:**

**Thank you very much^^**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**I'm really happy that you think it's 'gradual' haunting because I was really worried it was too obvious lol. And yes, even though he's a big tough ninja, Kuro knows how smart Fai is and likes to get his opinion on stuff. And cuddle. Sexy cuddles. LMFAO...**

**If you review after I've already posted the next chapter, I'll still respond, just in PM form, so please don't not* review thinking you won't get a response**

*** "Double negative... It's tricky..." (whoever knows where that's from gets a cupcake)**

**Please review and ENJOY~**

After the rain came sun, warm and golden, the way sun is supposed to be and not the anemic rays they'd been getting for days. Kurogane watched with mild amusement when the kids passed in front of windows, inevitable pausing in the puddles of light, soaking up their warmth like the cats that haunted the halls of Shirasagi castle. The comfort had been sorely missed and infused them with a sense of laziness that emanated from their bones.

Fai had pancakes and bacon sizzling in the kitchen and the smell permeated everything. Kurogane, who usually took the time in the mornings to meditate away from the group, found himself in the kitchen with the blonde, watching him work. It was meditative in a way he supposed; it calmed him, just listening to the familiar, soft, contented noises the mage made when he cooked. He breathed deeply but his carefully timed inhale was broken as Sakura materialized as she did whenever Fai did _anything _remotely interesting, which included cooking, cleaning, shopping, sewing and a multitude of other tasks that did not require two people. If Kurogane didn't know better, he'd think she had herself a crush, but her relationship with the kid made it unlikely. She did have a brother though, Kurogane thought he remembered him being mentioned once, along with a priest; she was probably only projecting her accustomedness to having an elder brother onto the mage. Either way it was a bit much at times, although it never seemed to bother the blonde.

"Fai-san... you don't need help with anything, do you?"

"No princess, but thank you... Why don't you go relax with Syaoran-kun, I think he's watching the news to see if anything about your feather turns up."

She nodded brightly and disappeared. Kurogane closed his eyes again and concentrated until he could feel Fai's aura in front of him.

He felt him shift left, right and back, most likely humming, though the ninja was too focused to listen.

Fai's aura always felt strange to him, though not in an unpleasant way. He could close his eyes and find the blonde in a crowd faster than he could locate him with sight, though that was only because of his size. His aura was much bigger than the man himself and it was tinged with a spine-tingling, silvery cold that always gave him chills.

But not a minute later Fai's helper was back and at the sound of her voice his eyes snapped open, his strange, one-sided connection to the mage lost.

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can _do_?"

He almost felt bad for her; not only was she restless but she couldn't stand that they were stuck in the same world for so long because of her feather. None of them begrudged her that but regardless she felt the need to constantly contribute. At the moment though, he had the urge to tell her to sit the hell down, preferably in the other room, and leave them alone for a few more minutes. It was a passing urge though. Very quick. He had a feeling that Fai would be less than amused by that sort of outburst.

"Umm..." Fai absently flipped the perfect circle of batter without benefit of a spatula, just flicking the pan and watching the pancake sail through the air before landing with a solid _thwack. _"If you really wanted you could strip the beds and take the sheets down to the laundry room-"

"Okay!"

As she bounded off down the hall, Kurogane had the most insistent, undeniable urge to make fun her. She was sweet and all but... hell.

Before he could change his mind he leaning over Fai's shoulder, mouth close to his ear, and spoke softly, hoping the kid wouldn't hear.

_"Can I help? Are you sure? What can I do? I'd like to help? Do you need any hel-"_

Fai smacked his hand into his chest, cutting him off. It didn't matter though, the blonde was already doubled over laughing.

"You're... _terrible!_" Fai tipped his head back displaying a huge, openmouthed smile. "That poor girl..."

"Likes to help." The ninja finished his sentence for him, a slight grin his closest approximation to bright laughter Fai was giving. It was the happiest the ninja had heard him in weeks, maybe months, and he loved being the cause of that.

It was a realization that struck him suddenly. It wasn't a new thought though; of course he wanted tall of his companions to be happy, even if he didn't always voice that feeling. What had caused him to freeze though, staring quite openly at the mage whose laughter was beginning to quiet, was that _he_ wanted to make him happy. He wanted what he had right in that moment, Fai leaning up against him, breathless and smiling for _real._

Soon he noticed the blonde staring back at him, that same look he'd displayed the other night after returning to bed; eyes half lidded, lips parted, hair twisting around his face. He wasn't smiling anymore but he didn't look upset; behind his eyes he could see a racing mind and suddenly he knew that if those racing thoughts reached their destination before he did something, he was going to lose him.

That left him with the question of _what_ exactly he was supposed to do before Fai disappeared, dissolved away from him like smoke.

Their faces were so _close_, when had he leaned down? Or was Fai leaning up? Either way his head was tipped back and his breath was _hot_ on his face.

He didn't remember when his arm had moved around Fai's waist or when the smaller had put his hands on his shoulder or even when his free hand made it's way to the mage's thigh; he didn't remember when their lips had drawn so close or when Fai had tilted his head at that perfect angle but he remembered when he heard that scream.

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ooooh, so short, I'm sorry! But I'm editing another chapter and it's muuuuch longer so bear with me guys ^^'**

**Thanks to _Elecktra7_ who added this to their Story Alert and to _BOoNaNakInG_ (so much fun to type lol) who added this to their Story Alert AND their Favorite Stories list. 3 you guys~**

**Review responses:**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**Please don't explode o_0 If you explode, who will write me wonderfully long and detailed reviews? I did work to give that chapter more meat so glad it showed^^ There will be time for 'sexy make-out time' LATER, right now they have to make sure Sakura isn't facing off against an ax murderer... sorry this one is so short, chapter ten makes up for that lol~ xoxo**

**_SenecaNya:_**

**Aww, I'm glad you liked it ^^**

**_BOoNaNkInG:_**

**You hate cliff-hangers? You're reading the wrong story lol, I'm pretty sure I leave you hanging on every chapter lol ^^' I interupt the cute moments so Fai doesn't explode with self-destructive energy and go all Infinity-arc on us lol**

**Thank you my lovlies, I'm so sorry this chapter is so short, things get better, I promise~**

**Please review and ENJOY~**

_He didn't remember when his arm had moved around Fai's waist or when the smaller had put his hands on his shoulder or even when his free made it's way to the mage's thigh; he didn't remember when their lips had drawn so close or when Fai had tilted his head at that perfect angle but he remembered when he heard that scream._

They jolted apart at he sound just in time to see Syaoran streak past the door on his way to the princess who was really the only member of group capable of producing such a shriek.

Fai was two steps ahead of him as they followed the kid down the hall and landed behind Syaoran as he shoved the door open.

"Princess! Are you alright, what happened?"

"I-I'm fine..." She _looked_ fine too, if a little shaken and more than a little embarrassed. Her cheeks were flushed red as she stared at the bare mattress, sheets pooled at her feet where she'd dropped them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scream but, look..."

She side stepped out of there way and gestured to the bed.

_Blood._

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello hello hello~**

**Today we go strait to review responses-**

**_BOoNaNakInG:_**

**You've got that perfectly right! Interrupted moments mean they have to finish at some point ;)**

**_sathreal:_**

**You can never watch too many horror movies lol**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**This one is a little longer, just for you! Yes, Sakura needs to be punished! there's a reason she messes up all the KuroFai moments; that's my way of showing how much I dislike her lol. xoxo**

**Alright guys, please review and ENJOY~**

}{

The stain was alarmingly big, darkest at the center and a strange rose color at the edges. Kurogane couldn't begin to imagine how he hadn't seen it when he'd moved the thing. When they had first moved in the mattress had been in the other bedroom, pressed against the bed the brats shared to make one large bed. Maybe when he's moved it he'd flipped it over but... he would have seen something like that.

Fai knelt down beside it and cocked his head.

"It's definitely _old _but... I don't remember it."

He shook his head and Kurogane turned to the kids.

"Alright, we'll take care of it. Go back to... whatever you were doing."

"I was... um... taking the laundry to the wash room."

"Then do that. Kid, go with her. You know where it is?"

"N-no, actually..."

"Figure it out."

After a moment Syaoran gathered the bedding and quietly asked the princess to follow him. Mokona left with the two of them and Fai absently called after them to take their food off of the burner.

"The fuck..?"

It was the most articulate statement the ninja felt he could make at the moment and he was grateful when Fai didn't make a comment about his 'potty-mouth'. Instead the mage shook his head slowly and turned to face him, still not standing.

"I have _no_ idea..."

The blonde not having at least an _educated_ _guess_ about the source of the mark was almost as disorientating as the blood itself. At the very least Fai usually _pretended_ he knew exactly what was going on but this time? Nothing.

"Oi?"

No response. The mage was deep in thought, looking at him but obviously not seeing a thing.

"It's just a stain, I'll flip the mattress."

Finally, a blink and Fai tilted his head, eyes narrowed slightly.

"Where do _you_ think it came from?"

"I..." He didn't know either. He wasn't supposed to know; _Fai_ was the one who always knew the impossible things, the things that didn't make sense. Or maybe they did make sense, just not to anyone else. But this time it didn't make sense to him either and he was asking _Kurogane_ what he thought? "Look, it's old and... It isn't any of ours and that's what matters."

Fai nodded absently, glanced around. Finally, he offered the mage a hand up.

"Move it so I can flip it."

The blonde accepted it and allowed him to help him up. His weight was a minor concern of Kurogane's; no one so thin could be healthy. But he didn't have time to worry about it and Fai wouldn't listen to him even if he did say something. When he dropped the mattress back down it sent up a cloud of dust that didn't settle even as he was nudging Fai out of the room ahead of him.

}{

_Wish_ was full but surprisingly calm. People danced and laughed and drank but Kurogane was focused on Fai, who once again had an audience along with his coworkers.

He and the girl were dancing along to some bubble-gum pop song and the guy said something Kurogane couldn't hear which earned him a shot glass to the head from the girl, a raspberry from Fai and a roll of laughter from their customers.

He turned away, glad Fai was enjoying himself. The blood had set him on edge and the rest of the day he'd been spacey. Not that he wasn't always day dreaming...

His mind continued to dwell on the mage even when he wasn't watching him. He knew something had passed between them that morning; something had _obviously_ been about to happen but it hadn't and that was infuriating because... what if it never did?

He could _make _it happen but that wouldn't be the same as having it be a sudden, mutual urge. Even if Fai wanted to, he still might not because the mage was just like that; he wanted to deny himself of everything for reasons he refused to reveal. He didn't want to force his hand, he wanted the blonde to do what he wanted to do.

Suddenly the Bluetooth in his ear buzzed to life with a voice. His boss had given it to him in order to communicate with other bouncers, employees and even bartenders apparently, judging by the way the man with the black hair was waving at him.

"_You Kurogane_?"

"Yeah, what?"

There was static as the man looked down the bar towards Fai and then back again, pouring the contents of a tumbler into several shot-glasses at once.

"_Someone's givin' your friend a hard time and he's refusing help... Just thought I'd letcha know..."'_

He slid his gaze sideways until he found the blonde who looked perfectly fine. He looked _too_ fine. Something was deffinetely wrong.

"Alright, thanks."

He picked his way through happy, dancing couples and when he came closer to Fai's stretch of the bar he spotted the problem without any great effort; some middle-aged jack-ass, drunk out of his mind and leaning as far as he could over the counter without actually _falling_.

Fai was pointedly ignoring him before suddenly whipping his head to face him, a dark flush slowly creeping across his face. When Kurogane made it within ear-shot, he heard why.

"C'mon sweetheart, how much?"

_Shit._

Fai tossed him a blood-freezing glare that the warrior had never seen before but had always suspected the mage was capable of.

He knew from experience that Fai could only handle being cat-called for so long. It was his own fault, he _flirted_ with anything that moved, but once it got out of hand he was done. Guys got handsy, girls got clingy; anything he couldn't control he didn't like but he was so hopelessly _polite_ that he rarely put a stop to it.

The girl, Mangetsu he thought Fai said her name was, materialized beside the mage.

"Honey, switch places with me, I'll deal with him."

"No, I can handle it."

So it was a pride thing? Kurogane sighed; If Fai possessed half as much desire for self-preservation as he did pride, his life would be a lot easier. The surprised mage caught his eye just as he clamped his hand down on the mans shoulder, causing a drunkenly delayed response.

"Wha-"

"Get up. Now."

"But I-"

"_Now."_

He wrenched the mans arm behind his back and torqued his shoulder until he'd _persuaded _him into a standing position. He was too drunk to struggle as he walk him to the door and too drunk to land on his feet when he threw him out of it. His job did not suck.

}{

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys^^ It's a little longer with a slightly creepy (in my opinion lol) lemony-lime-thing in the middle. Kuro's kinda being a creeper but ya'll know Fai wouldn't REALLY mind... **

**Thank you to _BleedingOpal_ for adding this to her Favorite Stories and her Story Alert and to Shkira who added this to her Story Alert! You guys make me keep going!**

**Review responses:**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**You're name has been added to my dictionary so that Spell Check will stop giving me a hard time about it. True story.**

**Yes, squeal, squeal like the obsessed fangirl you. Sakura is useless pretty much ALL the time, except in Acid Tokyo and even then she manages to get a black eye (although Fai did LOSE and eye so maybe she wins that round) I LUV U TOOOO 3**

**_sathreal:_**

**Damn strait they don't haha. You should write that story! Fai would look so cute with the ears~**

**_Shkira:_**

**Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it^^-**

}{

At the end of the night Kurogane took it upon himself to collect Fai who, if left to his own devices, would talk to his co-workers till dawn. As soon as he got close though, the girls eyes flicked up to him and she nudged Fai. His head snapped up, eyes locking on the warriors even as he shook his head. He heard the girls last words though, before she moved off without so much as a good bye.

"Babe, he took it _awfull_y personally when that prick gave you a hard time, just saying..."

Fai was still looking at him when he came closer, brow raised and a small smile playing at his lips. He didn't know he'd heard. The ninja rolled his eyes; the mage could be really oblivious when he wanted to be.

}{

He cranked the faucet as far as it would go and waited. It was hard to get hot water in their apartment but if you turned it all the way up and waited you could get some decent steam, if only for a few minutes.

All he could hear was the echo of tiny droplets of water ricocheting off of the shower stall and himself. His training overloaded his senses more often than not and the white noise was relaxing. He let his mind wander, inevitably finding it's way to the blonde. That was okay though, it wasn't something he forbade himself from thinking about; their would have been no use in that.

He was _so_ completely absorbed in thought though that when he heard the noise, he wasn't even sure if it was real or if he'd imagined it.

But careful listening proved that the low, barely-there squeak was entirely real, not just some figment of his imagination.

Not bothering to turn off the water the warrior popped the shower door open and glanced at the bathroom door.

_Locked._

And the bathroom was obviously deserted, so what..?

He shook his head and returned to the streaming water, content to ignore it. This world was messing with their heads he was sure.

But seconds later, ears peaked, he heard it again and spun to face the corner of the stall, below and behind him. He stared.

Traced in the condensation frosting the glass was the small but unmistakable shape of a heart.

The room was _empty, _save for himself, and even as he wondered where it had come from, he watched as the pale, pink-white dot of a finger tip pressed against the glass from the outside and dragged down the heart in a jagged line, creating the same squeak he'd heard earlier.

_A broken heart._

He couldn't move, couldn't breath. The water had run to ice by the time the finger had pulled away and he could _see_ that there was no one, crouched as they would have to be to reach such a low spot, sitting outside on the bathroom floor. It didn't even make sense; the finger drawing from the outside had streaked through the steam on the inside? It was one small, strange detail out of the entire encounter that his mind was sticking on, even as he watched beads of water suddenly cascade through the picture, breaking up the inside while keeping the outline intact until the last second, when it shattered.

Finally the chill of the water proved to be too much and he shook his head and stared at the spot where the heart had been. He had to have imagined it, didn't he? The sound could have been anything, a _mouse_. The heart... Water made patterns all the time, it was like finding shapes in clouds. The finger..? Imagined.

}{

Their room was oddly quiet when Kurogane returned from his shower and he couldn't figure out why that was strange until he realized Fai almost never fell asleep before him. Half the time the mage was still chattering by the time _he_ lost consciousness.

But that night Fai was already out for the count, face down on their bed, blonde hair fanned across his pillow. His breathing was steady and calm and the ninja found himself smiling; so often when Fai slept by himself he had nightmares.

It was hours later though that the dream came, drawing quick breaths and whimpers from the mage as well as a restlessness that had him twisting every which way until eventually the warrior woke to find him not only completely tangled in blankets but pressed as close to his chest as he could possibly get. Silver-gold hair ghosted over his mouth and neck and pale fingers grasped at the material of his shirt, all while faint, broken whispers slipped through pale lips. He strained to make them out, but through the hitches in breath and sudden groans, he could only make out one, familiar word. Name.

"_... A-... Ashura..."_

There was a volley of tremors and without thinking Kurogane reached out and wrapped an arm around the blonde, securing him in place. If he could have brought him closer, he would have.

It was startling, how immediate the affect was; Fai's breathing calmed, his whispers slowed, the shaking subsided.

But then the blonde turned so that his mouth came nerve-wrackingly close to the ninja's pulse point. He felt a gentle sigh against his skin and shuddered; his breath was hot and everything but that spot suddenly felt icy. That same breath set him on _fire, _again and again until his hands were moving of their own accord, slipping down the Fai's slim back, coming to rest just above his rear.

_Don't wake up._

As soon as the thought entered his mind guilt bloomed. He shouldn't have felt it, he knew; comforting a companion was nothing to be ashamed of. But the fact that he would _never_ touch the blonde so freely if he were were awake was thrumming in his brain. He needed to stop.

That sentiment was forcedly ignored though as he took one last liberty with the blonde, tracing his hand lightly up his back and twining it through tangles of long, soft hair. He could feel his heartbeat and knew he needed to stop, stop that second before the small being in his grasp woke up and never forgave him and he lost the chance of _ever_ being able to do this with permission and _without_ the guilt. Guilt that had him biting back apologies as he curled the mage's hair behind his ear and touched his cheek, marveling and the perfect soft skin and how _smooth _it was under his fingers and-

Fai gasped in his sleep.

The ninja froze and carefully removed his hand, silently praying that he _was_, in fact, still asleep and he wouldn't have to come up with some pathetic explanation as to _why_ he was _petting_ him.

But without his touch it was like a switch had been flipped. That lithe body stiffened and he curled in on himself, groaning that _name_ again.

He hated it. It was sudden, but he realized that he _absolutely_ hated that name. Not just because Fai was afraid of... whoever that name belonged to but because... Reality often seeps over into dreams and Kurogane had no misconceptions about the way he had been touching the blonde seconds before. If the sensation of being touched like that brought back memories of that person then what exactly was he to him? All those moans and whimpers took on a completely different light but...

No. There was pure fear in his voice during the dreams; fear and hurt and misery and that led him not to the question of 'What was he' to the mage but 'what did he _do_ to him'?

And as he watched the dream escalate his emotions changed from a barely acknowledged jealousy to a fierce protectiveness that had a new, underlying tone of _possessiveness_ that was very much acknowledged and oddly enjoyed. When Fai finally let out a stifled, frustrated sob, the warrior reached out and gently shook him awake.

Gentle or not, Fai sat up instantly, gasping and slapped a hand over his mouth. His eyes darted quickly around room before settling on Kurogane who lay at his side, propped up on his elbow and openly watching him.

They stared at each other silently for minutes on end until a car backfired outside and Fai jumped, closing his eyes and placing a hand on his own chest before letting out a long, controlled breath and a forced, shaky laugh.

"That _startled _me, I wasn't expecting it."

"You were already pretty startled."

Kurogane pointed out calmly. Fai just shook his head.

"Well Kuro-sama woke me up didn't he? Why..?"

"You were having a nightmare."

His smile faltered but he regained it, shaking his head.

"Oh... well it was just a dream."

"What are they about?"

"Wha-?"

"Your nightmares. You get them a lot don't you?"

"No, I-"

"Don't lie to me, I know."

His face was completely frozen but the ninja could see his mind working in his eyes. Those eyes were the only way he could ever figure the mage out and they were flashing dangerously. The mage didn't like being called out but there was no other way. Finally the smile dissolved but he wasn't any more open. His features were carefully schooled into blankness.

"And how does Kuro-chi know that?"

"You have them when you sleep by yourself. I've woken you up a couple times but you're usually too out of it to take notice of your surroundings. You really ought to pay more attention."

The last comment was an afterthought but it was true. Fai seemed to be thinking and then he shook his head, smile back in place.

"I don't remember."

"You don't remember-"

"My dream. I don't remember it."

Kurogane sighed and sat up, running a hand through his hair.

"You don't remember. You gonna stick with that answer?"

"It's the only answer I have."

"It's the only answer you can some up with." The ninja stared him down for a moment before shaking his head. He looked back. If he just kept steady eye-contact the mage would fold, he had to.

"I really don't remember..."

He watched the blonde carefully before giving up and laying back down, rolling to face the other direction.

"Alright, _whatever_..."

He could feel the regret radiating off of the mage behind him as the smaller settled back onto the bed but he was almost to annoyed to care; Fai was stubborn as a mule when he wanted to be and that stubbornness had a way of taking whatever sort of tender affection he had for him and kicking the shit out of it. It was hard, caring for someone who refused to be cared for and he sometimes wondered if it was worth even bothering.

But then he would catch Fai just _looking_ at him with those eyes, so beautiful and perfect but so fucking _sad _and... he wanted to take away that last part, however he could.

}{

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello hello hello! So rainy where I am, perfect weather for a murder as they say... >;)... I know, I'm weird today lol.

Review responses~

Xynostaph: Oh you magical person you... The shower scene was really your fave part? I thought for sure Kuro pseudo-groping Fai in his sleep would set you pervy fangirls into overdrive but apparently not lol. And you must be psychic, requesting a kiss like you did ;) Hope you like~

wolf1380 Aww, thanks ^^-

BleedingOpal: Aww, haha, I actually wasn't sure if the shower scene got better or worse in this version lol, so if that's your fave chappie I'll assume better^^- I always try to strike a good balance between sweet and suicidal~

sathreal: Thank uuu! I would co-write that with you myself but I've never actually watched Inu Yasha o/o But I like the way they look lol... I'll beta it if you ever want^^

GUESS WHO WROTE YOU A BONUS CHAPTER FROM ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KUROGANE'S POINT OF VEIW? OF HIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP WITH ALTERNATE UNIVERSE FAI?

Me, that's who.

You're welcome.

Please review and ENJOY~

}{

**

It was more than a few minutes later when affection won out and he rolled over to make sure Fai was relatively alright. He swallowed a yell, choking.

In fact, if he hadn't spent his entire life being trained to be absolutely silent when startled, he probably would have. It was only an instant but it was a long, heart-wrenching instant that he didn't think he'd ever forget.

_He's dead. The blood bloomed outwards from the wound on his chest and his eyes are open but you know they don't see anything. The tears are still wet on his cheeks and the fear is still plain on his face and-_

"KUROGANE!"

The sound of his own name, his _full_ name, brought him back to reality with a start. Fai was sitting before him, eyes wide and worried and very much alive. No blood, no gashes, no _tears_.

"You... were dead."

"I was-"

"Dead. You... It looked like a bullet wound."

He watched as the mage's mouth slowly dropped open and he struggled for words, starting the same sentence twice before making it all the way through.

"Th-That was my dream!"

"What?"

They were both in the center of the bed then; Kurogane sitting while Fai knelt before him, suddenly unsettled. He reached out and caught the blonde's arm, giving it a gentle tug until Fai was sitting before him, wrist still in his grasp.

"What was it?"

"In my dream, I was shot..."

He wasn't looking at the ninja, but not in one of his infuriating refusals to make eye-contact; he was too shaken to properly censor himself and the ninja caught the whispered beginnings of a quickly cut off sentence.

"He shot..."

But that was it. He didn't finish the sentence and somehow, even though the only possible word was 'me', Kurogane just wanted him to say it; to make one completed admission instead of broken sentences he had to stitch together. Still, it was enough to go on.

"Who?"

"What?"

The blonde's head snapped up as he wrenched his wrist away and Kurogane took a steady breath.

_Don't smile. Don't smile. Don't smile._

"Who shot you?"

Nothing.

Blank.

Infuriating, all encompassing silence.

"Fai!"

He barked and the mage came back to him, shaking his head.

"I don't... I don't reme-"

"Ashura."

He hadn't meant to say it but once he did he realized it was probably a good idea; Fai honestly didn't seem to realize just how much he knew. Blue eyes focused on him carefully, warily.

"How... do you know that name..?"

"You say it in your sleep a lot. You were saying it when I woke you up."

"Oh..."

"What was your dream?"

"I don't remember it."

"That's a load of-"

"I don't remember!"

His voice cracked and his shoulders slumped and for an instant the ninja thought he was going to cry and he honestly didn't know what he'd do.

But Fai wasn't crying; he was too stubborn for that. Crying would mean acknowledging that something was wrong.

"Okay... okay... I... Relax..."

Coming from anyone else, telling someone to relax would have sounded dismissive. But when he said it he meant it and Fai realized that; it was meant to soothe and it did.

"Come here..."

It was a whisper because somehow saying it quietly made it almost like he wasn't saying it at all, like he was just putting the suggestion out there and whether Fai decided to follow it or not had nothing to do with him. But he did say it and, after a moment of hesitation, Fai did follow it, slowly sliding closer without looking at his eyes. He reached out and touched his arm and, carefully, gently ran his fingers up the length until he reached his neck. Fai's eyes flitted to his but he didn't hesitate; his hand finally came to cradle his small face. The blonde was frozen, wide eyed and stunned for the third time that night. When the ninja slowly, deliberately pressed his mouth to the man's smooth cheek, he silently hoped he wasn't as horrified as he'd been the first two.

When he pulled back Fai was still motionless but he wasted no time touching his finger tips to the spot where he'd just been kissed. He didn't seem unhappy, just hopelessly stunned.

So it took some coaxing for him to lie down but when he finally did he was quite comfortably nestled in the circle of the warriors arms. Their was no extra kiss, no star-crossed confession, no long night of whispered names not belonging to past acquaintances. But their was comfort for both, if only for a little while

}{

But eventually he did wake and rolled away from him in the process. The ninja watched him yawn like a cat from behind.

"Good morning, Kuro-sama."

"Good morning..."

It wasn't much but it was more than he usually offered in the way of a greeting and Fai's shoulders raised.

He had no misconceptions that things would be different between them; that one, one-sided kiss would end all the self destructive behavior and the efforts to keep him out. But he was tired and high on the smell of the blonde after breathing him in all night; his head felt almost like it was swimming.

He came down quite violently though when Fai finally turned to face him, showing off the scars of the night.

Little violet half moons showed under tired eyes and if he looked carefully he could see shiny streaks along his skin; the dry evidence of tears that must have fallen long after he'd drifted off, the mage still cradled in his arms.

}{

"It's freezing in here..."

Kurogane rolled his eyes as he followed the mage into the apartment, kids close behind.

"So? It's always freezing in here, where the hell have you been?"

"Outside," Fai stated, matter-of-factly, "Where it's warm. So isn't it odd that it's warm outside but cold in here?"

"Uh, guys?" Syaoran interrupted, "It's warm in the hallway..."

Sakura doubled back to stand next to him and gasped.

"It is! I wonder why..."

Kurogane leveled a glare at the blonde.

"Now look what you've started. You're all exciting yourselves; the windows are single-paned and the hallway is in the center of the building. It's insulation, not magic..."

Fai nodded slowly, clearly thinking. Before Kurogane could ask, Mokona cut him off.

"Mokona thinks we should ask someone else if their apartment is cold!"

"That's a good idea Mokona..." Fai agreed, smiling but absent. "We'll ask one of our neighbors..."

The ninja's brow bunched.

"Of course it'll be cold-"

"Since he's head of the household I vote that Kuro-daddy asks. All in favor?"

"Aye!"

Mokona shouted while the kids looked nervously between the too until Fai motioned for them to raise their hands. They did so without hesitating and the ninja sighed.

"Alright..."

He strode to the next door down, followed by his makeshift family and knocked.

It was minutes before the deadbolt clicked out of place and they knew they weren't being ignored. The door only opened as far as a fine chain would allow and habit caused the ninja to notice that he could force that chain easily if he wanted to. Unfortunately the frail, elderly woman who had answered the door seemed to think that was exactly what he planned to do. She wedged her face into the crack between the door and it's frame and eyed him warily, unable to see the rest of the group.

"C-can I help you?"

"Yeah..."

He tried to come up with a subtle way of asking his question so he didn't come off as crazy, but he wasn't the mage and he didn't know how to re-word things to sound reasonable.

"We were wondering... if your apartment is cold..."

"C-cold?"

She looked at him, confused, and whatever patience he'd been harboring quickly left port.

"Cold. Like snow."

Eyebrows that had been tweezed within an inch of their life shot to the top of her forehead and intimidation quickly morphed into annoyance.

"I know what you meant boy."

Kurogane sighed.

"If you know than just answer the question-"

"Kuro-rin, remember your manners!"

"Who else is out there?"

Brows back in place and even slightly lowered she glanced around and Kurogane sighed, side stepping so that she could see past him. She squinted at them, eyes passing quickly over Sakura and Syaoran, who each bowed slightly, and landing on Fai who smiled charmingly. She shook her head, slowly at first and pushed her face even further through the tiny space.

"Young man?"

Syaoran stepped forward and she waved him away with a roll of her eyes.

"Not you, you."

She jerked her chin at Fai.

"Come closer so I can see you."

Fai did as he was told and the woman squinted further.

"Do I know you? You seem familiar…"

"We live next door-"

"No, no… I remember you from a long time ago."

There was an uncomfortable silence as she examined his face. Then the door closed. The all stared at each other until they heard the chain drop and the door swung all the way open. The woman called over her shoulder absently as she disappeared into the apartment.

"I'll just have to have you in for tea."

The warrior had a hard time moving more than a few steps inside the apartment before Fai nudged him quite roughly-more of a push, come to think of it- and he was immersed in a tiny, over-decorated hell that smelled overwhelmingly of stale potpourri and had a color pallet that made him slightly nauseous. If something wasn't pink, it was white. If it was white, it was covered in little pink rosettes. Every available surface was covered in figurines of little angels or kittens with wings or children, the warrior's issues with which extended past taste level.

"Have a seat in the living room, anywhere is fine."

There were two small couches in the living room, both pink and white striped. Even more outlandish were the clear plastic covers that gave the upholstery a tight sheen and made unsettling sounds when disturbed. Syaoran and Sakura sat stiffly on one and Fai sat down on the other, patting the spot next to him for Kurogane. The ninja however was having an internal battle between his need for comfort and his need for dignity. Fai stepped in as the ref.

"Kuro, be polite or I'll tell her not to give you a cookie with your tea…"

"I don't want a friggin' cookie…"

He grumbled as he dropped next to Fai, the force making the slighter man fall sideways. He was louder than he thought though.

"I wasn't planning on giving him one anyway, so rude…"

Kurogane rolled his eyes as the woman called from the kitchen and grabbed Fai's arm, righting him without much difficulty and leaning down close to his ear to whisper.

"Why are we still even here? We're inside, we already know that… it's… warm…"

Fai turned his face slightly so that their noses brushed briefly and the ninja was caught in that stare of his; the one when he was figuring out things that a normal person could never comprehend. His eyes were were burning, not their normal frosty blue but an electric sapphire. He could see the thought swirling through them.

"Now we're figuring out why."

With the kettle on the stove, the woman returned and settled a plate full of small sandwiches on the coffee table, adjusting a cherub doll to make room, before taking one and lowering herself into a large plastic-covered armchair. For all her snipes and barbs she seemed to have a very hard time maneuvering herself. Once seated she gestured for them to help themselves and they did, Kurogane only after Fai poked him in the ribs, teasing comment poised on his lips. Kurogane cut him off though by shoving the blonde's sandwich the rest of the way into his mouth and grabbing one with a growl. The woman conveniently waited for all of their mouths to be full before starting a conversation.

"So I assume you've found out what you were wondering?"

"Yes."

Fai managed after quickly swallowing what Kurogane assumed was mostly un-chewed sandwich. Ingrained manners were going to kill him at some point, Kurogane decided.

"Your apartment is…" Fai searched for the word, clearly thinking of several and passing them over. He settled on: "Lovely…"

She smiled.

"Oh thank you dear."

"Yes," Sakura agreed quickly, "I love the colors."

Syaoran looked slightly ill and Kurogane was left to debate if she meant it or was just being polite. Either way, their host didn't seem to appreciate it.

"You shouldn't repeat another's complement so quickly, child. It comes off entirely insincere."

There was silence as they all tried to figure out what had just happened. Sakura spoke first.

"O-oh… I'm… sorry..?"

She looked to Syaoran to see what she had done wrong and the boy offered a subtle shrug. Then the woman seemed to have had enough of them and turned back to Fai.

"I'm Ruby, by the way."

"Ruby,"

Fai repeated, dropping the honorific as they had earned to in some worlds.

"My name is Fai and this is Sakura, Syaoran and Kuro-"

"-gane."

The ninja finished for him to avoid any misunderstandings. He knew better than to let Fai perform introductions. Ruby offered them each a brief nod as Fai gestured to them before looking back at him.

"May I ask why you wanted to know if my apartment was warm?"

"We," Fai reiterated, "were interested because our apartment is so cold."

She nodded.

"You live in apartment thirteen, right?"

"Yes, we do."

Ruby shook her head at him.

"Thirteen… That's a bad number you know, bad luck."

"Yeah, we get it."

Kurogane piped up from his disgruntled slouch next to Fai. She was just going to scare the kids. Ruby looked at him.

"You're not very bright, are you?"

"What the he-"

Fai placed a calming hand on his arm without turning around.

"Yes, we've been told it's very unlucky. We certainly haven't been having much luck lately…"

He looked away as if lost in thought and Kurogane grinned. When it came to manipulating a conversation, Fai could give Tomoyo-hime a run for her money.

"How so?" Ruby was now the picture of concern, sitting forward, eyes trained on Fai.

"

Well… we're looking something, something important, but we're having a very hard time tracking it down…"

"Could I help you?"

"No… well," Fai's face visibly brightened. It was all a mask. "You might. What we're looking for might cause strange things to happen where it goes. Ruby, can you think of anything strange happening lately?"

"Like the temperature?"

Ruby asked hopefully. Fai hesitated.

"…Sure. Just something strange, that wouldn't normally happen."

"Well, lately I haven't been able to get any hot water."

Her tone suggested that this was a punishable crime. Fai nodded sympathetically.

"Neither have we." He looked around. "Was…was that all?"

Kurogane could have laughed at Fai's face. He was obviously regretting the situation.

"Oh no," Ruby continued.

"I was talking to Estelle in apartment twenty-four and she says she can't get any either. The super says that the hot water heater is fine and it's probably because the water tower is on the roof and it's so cold out, but today was warm and it's still freezing!"

"Right…"

"And then there's the electric!"

"The electric?"

Fai asked desperately.

"Yes, yes, you haven't noticed that the lights flicker?"

"Oh, right…"

"Just the other day I was having lunch with Edna in forty and the lights went out completely! Not just one bulb, all of them! Right in the middle of my story too; what was I telling her…" In the background the kettle began to rattle. Ruby continued. "Oh right! I was telling her how the other night I was trying to fall asleep and I hear footsteps out in the hall! At three in the morning! And then there was crying-"

The kettle buzzed louder.

"Um, Ruby? Your kettle…"

"I mean, people could learn to be considerate of their neighbors. If you're going to cry, stay in your apartment!"

Sakura stood to get the kettle before the water evaporated but Ruby stopped her.

"Excuse me we're in the middle of a conversation you shouldn't just leave."

"

I'm sorry, but your kettle-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence though as the kettle exploded with a loud bang and all three light bulbs on the fan over their heads burst.

The shattering glass was startling but it was late afternoon and so thin grey light filtered in through the drawn blinds. Everyone seemed frozen in place for a moment before Ruby snapped.

"Well, don't just sit there, I'm an old woman, go clean it!"

Everyone sat stock still, concerned as to what might happen if they moved.

"Why don't you let me take care of it?"

Fai moved to stand and the woman reached out and put her hand on his knee.

"Oh you're such a nice young man, but you stay hear and talk to me, we were having such a nice conversation. The rest of you should make yourselves useful."

Fai looked slightly disappointed and Kurogane realized he was probably looking for a polite way to end their 'nice conversation'. But Ruby was desperate to talk to someone it seemed and she wasn't ready to let the blonde go. Kurogane decided to go and figure something out later.

"We'll get it."

He stood and ushered the confused children with him. Fai all but scowled at him and he didn't give him any indication of intending to help. He was at the mercy of the blonde's whims so often, he decided to let him sweat, just for a little while.

It worried him, how accommodating Fai was. The man, despite all his teasing, had an innate desire to please and in situation a when 'pleasing' was sitting with a lonely old woman, that wasn't too troublesome. But politeness paired with a need for approval and a lack of self-respect could be dangerous. It led to being taken advantage of and if his suspicions were correct, something like that had already happened.

"You two go home, I'll rescue blondie."

Without so much as a question Syaoran and Sakura ducked out the front door and Kurogane worked up the right amount of concern before striding into the living room. Polite or no, he knew the mage had priorities and the kids were, if not at the top, pretty damn close.

"The princess burnt her hand on the kettle really bad, I think you should go look at it."

"Oh!" Fai jumped up in the middle of Ruby's sentence. "Ruby it was lovely meeting you but I have to go."

"Oh that's alright sweetie, you just come back and visit me soon okay?"

"Uh-huh."

Fai was up and out the door before Kurogane could get a hold of him. He reached the apartment before him as well and went strait to Sakura, grabbing her hand and examining it.

"Let me see it. Does it hurt? How long were you-"

Sakura was watching Fai confusedly, clearly unsure as to what he was talking about.

"Oi, mage, calm down. No one burnt anything."

Fai looked at him.

"Why did you-"

"For as much of a bastard as you are, you are really fucking polite. You'd have sat there and talked to her all day if I'd let you."

Fai processed the information, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"Kuro-chu learned how to be subtle, I'm so… proud!"

Just as Kurogane was about to come back at him there was a knock at the door. They all looked at each other and Kurogane muttered as he strode over to the door.

"If she followed you she can _have_ you."

He opened the door to an older woman, certainly not Ruby though, in her mid seventies. She had dark salt-and-pepper hair and deep ocean blue eyes. She was thin but not frail and her face was lined but determined.

"I think I can help you."

}{

}{

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy Friday! Thanks to _ReizaChan_ who added every single one of my Kurofai stories to her favorites list. I keep looking at my inbox. It is surreal. I love you with alll of my heart^^ Also thanks to _Treeweaver_, who added this to her Story Alert :D Love love love!**

**Review responses:**

**_sathreal:_**

**There's a good chance Ruby knows and just doesn't _care_. I'm not quite sure about her yet...**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**You are a brave brave woman, reading this in the middle of school... Givin out gay porn would be an even bolder move XD Don't get in trouble, k? I wanted there to be more than cuddles so much! But Fai would not allow that (although, after alternate universe Fai bitch slaps him into reality, all bets are off) Glad you like Ruby, I think I made her slightly more annoying in this version, although I didn't edit that chapter too too much. As for Fai jumping in and out of the hall way you made me laugh soooo hard. I think Kuo would just grab him by the shoulders and be like 'Alcohol or sugar, which was it?' With that amount of hyper activity though, us hard core sugar fiends would know he just bought himself a bunch of pixi stix. DON"T FEEL BAD FOR REVIEWING TWICE! It makes meh happeh... Hugs and cuddles xoxo**

**_KittenInTheSkyy():_**

**Yes, Kuro turning out to be such a good puppy^^ Thanks so much!**

**_wolf1380:_**

**Thank you^^-**

**Alright guys, thanks so much, please review and ENJOY~**

**}{**

"I think I can help you."

Without invitation she stepped into the apartment and Kurogane didn't stop her. She reminded him a bit of Amaterasu, all dark determined eyes and the air of someone who was not to be trifled with.

"I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with _Ruby_," There was no small amount of contempt in her voice, "And I think I can help you."

"How's that?"

She stood amongst them, stiff backed, hands clasped in front of her like some foreign dignitary. She glanced around at their apartment, eyeing the bare walls and sparse rooms distastefully.

"My name is Sylvia and I'm what's called a spiritual medium; I can bridge the gap between the living and the dead and I can sense the souls of those who have no place in this realm but linger anyway."

All eyes turned to Fai, knowing he'd have the best understanding out of all of them. He smiled disarmingly.

"I didn't think the lightbulbs burst because of faulty wiring..."

"You thought right."

He nodded and extended his hand.

"Fai D. Flourite."

"Sylvia D. Augustine."

She took his hand and he kissed hers, bowing deeply. Kurogane rolled his eyes.

}{

"Years ago I purchased something from the Dimensional Witch, Ms. Yuuko-"

"_Yuuuuko!_"

Mokona shot out of the bedroom to which it had been confined and landed in Sylvia's lap. The woman jerked backward and looked as though a large, writhing octopus had just materialized on her. Fai tactfully held his arms out and Mokona moved to him, cuddling.

"-Ichihara, yes. And as I'm sure you know the Dimensional Witch always requires..."

"Compensation."

Fai finished and Sylvia nodded.

"Yes. But she didn't ask for it. She said one day she would, but not then. Last night she spoke to me through a dream. My payment is to help you all as much as I can."

"And," Kurogane interrupted, "Did she say what, exactly, she expected from _us_ in exchange?"

"Nothing. You're payment is to help me settle _my_ debt. Beyond that, you're all settled up."

He nodded and Sylvia continued, turning to Fai.

"You're very skilled in magic, I'm sure you've sensed the presence of the dead in many of the... occurrences lately?"

"...Yes, I've sensed something. But I wasn't _positive." _He tacked on at the end and Sylvia gave him an odd look. She didn't believe him. Kurogane smirked as Fai tried to recover. "I was never very good with black magic, especially necromancy."

"But... you _do_ understand the theory, correct?"

"Perfectly."

"What occurrences are you talking about exactly?"

Kurogane arched an eyebrow but Sylvia seemed unaffected. She raised her hand and began counting things off on her fingers.

"There was of course, one full body apparition," She glanced at Sakura, "_Your _hallucination. Then there was the other night, the presence in bed beside you," For that she looked to Kurogane, who looked to Fai, who looked slightly ill. "Then the footprints in the kitchen and then both of _your_ visions."

"How in the hell do you know all that?"

"Of course I'm sensitive to the energy that spirits put off when they exert themselves... Also Ms. Ichihara told me the details last night, through my dream-"

"How did _she_ know?"

"Mokona saw everything, Mokona thought Yuuko should know!"

"How did you see the one in the bathroom?"

"Heating ducts!"

Before Kurogane could grab him the little creature launched across the room and shimmied into one as an explanation. He growled and settled to the floor again, opposite Fai.

"So," The blonde absently twirled a piece of hair around hi finger. "You're saying this apartment is haunted?"

"In a sense, yes."

"How many?"

Sylvia looked confused and even slightly annoyed.

"You really don't know?"

Fai smiled apologetically and shook his head. Whatever it was, he obviously knew.

"Only one." Sylvia sighed. "You."

He didn't twitch.

"Me?"

"I think it would be best if the young ones left the room; wouldn't want to give them a scare."

"Yes," Fai agreed, "Kuro-chii, why don't you take the kids and-"

I'm not going anywhere, you should know that by know. Manju. Out."

The kids hesitated slightly before gathering Mokona and heading off down the hall. Fai was staring at him hopelessly. The mage wanted him out but he wasn't going anywhere. Sylvia was either oblivious or she just didn't care. Kurogane suspected the latter.

"I'll assume you already know of the existence of doubles..?"

"Same body, same soul, different worlds."

"Exactly. In this world, there was a double of you, of _both_ of you." She corrected, looking between the two. "That's why ruby thought you looked familiar... not surprised she didn't remember _you_, Kurogane. I barely remember either of you but I know you weren't particularly _social_. The building's changed ownership since it happened as well so the landlord didn't recognize you..."

"Since _what_ happened, exactly?"

Fai's face was strained, anxiety rolling off of him. Sylvia worried at her lip.

"Keep in mind that I've been told by the dimensional... by _Yuuko_, not to believe the news reports, that the evidence was not what it seemed but... The official report was that you were murdered by... him."

She held Fai's gaze but nodded gently towards Kurogane. The ninja deadpanned.

"_Me?"_

"Those were the police reports," The woman placated, "Yuuko seems to think that's not entirely accurate and I'll take her judgement over the police any day. I _never_ believed what they said, I saw you two together and... it's not my place to say but you were... very happy, I... couldn't picture you doing what they... say you did."

_Hell no, of course not._

_He_ couldn't even imagine it, hurting the blonde, much less _killing_ him. For all his threats he... _no_. The thought was making him sick to his stomach in a way he'd never experienced. There were always parallels between images... Tomoyo-hime had sent him away for taking lives... it wasn't impossible... He closed his eyes tight. There was _no way_. For all his past mistakes he wasn't indiscriminately violent; the violence came from a need to protect and he felt that for Fai almost as much a he felt it towards Tomoyo-hime... _More so_, simply because the blonde needed protection from himself as well. He thought of the night before, of _holding_ him and knowing that his presence alone could comfort and... He couldn't imagine seriously raising a hand against the blonde. Jokingly yes; with the intention to hurt? Never.

Fai's face was turned away though he was tugging at the ends of his hair thoughtfully. He didn't move away though.

"What _do_ you think happened, exactly?"

"I'm... not sure, exactly but... Whatever it was, that's why all of this is happening, though I'm sure you've already figured that out," Fai nodded absently, still deep in thought, and Kurogane scowled; of course he would keep it to himself, "The... _your_ spirit is trapped here and trying desperately to contact you. We have to contact _it_ and for that I need you... I'm sure you know why."

"To establish a link."

Fai answered automatically and she nodded, standing with an ease one didn't expect from someone her age.

"Exactly. Now, I'm going back to my apartment to get some supplies and then we'll give it a try, alright?"

"Of course, thank you..."

Fai trailed off as she left the apartment and Kurogane turned to face him.

"I... you knew what was going on, didn't you?"

Fai flinched at the accusation but the ninja wasn't angry, just confused and maybe a little impressed.

"I... had my suspicions."

"Why don't you tell me things?"

"Huh?"

"Whenever I'm worried about something I tell you cause I know, even if you say something stupid or tease me or whatever, that your going to listen and you'll give me a serious answer if I need one. Don't you think I'll do that for you?"

There was a fake laugh as the blonde tried to lighten the atmosphere. His words made it a thousand times worse though, even if he had been joking.

"Well obviously I have to be veeeery careful what I say to Kuro-killer, he might get it in his head to try and off me."

He flashed a huge smile to show that he was joking but the larger only stared. After a moment, Fai saw the look on his face and the smile dissolved.

"_Oh Kuro_," His voice was soft, regretful, "I didn't mean-"

"You know," The ninja shook his head slowly, "For all the _shit_ you put me through with the lying and the mind games I... I would _never hurt you. _There are only a _handful_ of people in the world that I can say that about."

The blonde's mouth dropped open and he saw the glitter of tears in blue eyes. It didn't matter. It needed to be said.

"I know that Kurogane, _believe me, _I know that."

And then that urge took hold of him, the one he'd had the night before when he'd kissed him. But this time he just wanted to tell Fai not to be afraid of him; not that he would hurt him, Fai already knew that. He didn't want him to be afraid to depend on him. He wasn't fragile like the mage; it would take a lot to really hurt him which seemed to be Fai's biggest fear.

But instead all that was shared was a long look and then Fai changed the subject.

"Did you have ghosts in Nihon?"

"Yes... no... not everybody believed in them, _I_ certainly didn't. It was a superstition; ghosts were people who'd died horrible deaths or had unfinished business."

"Yes well," Fai smiled, real but sad, "You'll find that's the way it is _everywhere_."

The ninja nodded, dozens of thoughts swirling through his head. One in particular stuck out.

"Wait, when she said your _vision_, did she mean-"

"My dream..."

Fai finished.

"Your ghost gave you a nightmare trying to communicate with you?"

"Yes, something like that…" Fai looked up at Kurogane, smiling wryly. "I wasn't lying you know, I really don't remember most of that dream, just the end. I remember it was very long though… I think," Fai trailed off. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to Kurogane. "I think it's because I'm not a dream seer. Dream seers remember their dreams exactly because they're trained to. I was never trained in dream magic."

Kurogane nodded.

"What about what you said earlier? Black magic?"

Fai surprised him with a sharp laugh, harsh and self-deprecating.

"No. I know a lot about it, I understand it and the procedures. I've always avoided performing it though. It requires opening yourself up to possession, both spiritual and demonic. I was never very good at it."

"Well I don't need you to be."

Sylvia barged in, carrying a thick flat wooden board and a small leather pouch.

"I just need you to know enough to help me. You know what this is, yes?"

She placed the board on the floor in front of them. It was thick, dark reddish wood with twenty-six characters carved into it.

"It's a _conseil d'administration esprit._"

Fai replied automatically. Kurogane wondered why Mokona didn't translate his phrase. Sylvia nodded.

"I don't understand what you just said but... the names of magical tools and props are dimension specific so... Spirit board?"

Fai smiled.

"Something to that affect yes. Something of that magical caliber couldn't be crafted and charmed so flawlessly in a world that doesn't commonly accept magic; I assume this is what you purchased from the Dimensional Witch?"

Sylvia smiled.

"Yes. The witch explained that you wouldn't be able to read this alphabet but I can so there shouldn't be any problems. I need you to act as the conduit, have you ever done that before?"

"Once," Fai nodded, "Maybe twice."

"You know the incantation?"

"Yes."

"What exactly are you going to do?"

Kurogane asked, causing Sylvia to sigh in exasperation like he was some small child that needed everything explained to him. Kurogane couldn't bring himself to give a shit.

"We want to find out what the spirit is waiting for, why it can't move on. It could be something it still has to do or it might not even know it's dead, that happens sometimes. Either way, this allows us to communicate with it," She tapped the board, "and figure out what we need to do."

It bothered the ninja slightly, how she kept referring to Fai's double's ghost as 'it'. She was very callous, efficient. Cold.

"Fai, are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Kuro move back a little please. Dark magic can be unstable... I don't want to accidentally kill _you_."

Kurogane twitched; when they weren't around the brats Fai's humor turned dark as night. He could be a little morbid when he wanted to.

"Are you sure you're okay? I thought you couldn't do magic."

"This isn't like what I usually do; I'm not drawing on my aura I'm drawing on the spirit's. As long as I'm not using my own aura I can handle it."

The ninja nodded and backed up, sitting a few feet away.

"A little more, Kuro-chu."

With a sigh he slid back a few more feet and, satisfied, Fai turned back to the board. He knelt in front of it and placed a thin slice of crystal on the edge, not touching any of the characters. Sylvia took a pad and pencil out of her pouch and Fai watched.

"You wouldn't happen to have any salt on there would you?"

Sylvia blinked, surprised, before smiling and reaching back, producing a black pill box.

"Other mediums I've talked to said it doesn't do anything but I've always liked using it. I didn't want to seem silly in front of such an accomplished magician though."

Fai smiled and accepted the box, opening it and sprinkling a fine stream of white crystals, making a perfectly even circle around the both of them in one practiced motion.

"No, it definitely does something. You can't control the spirits you attract when you do this, but you can keep demons from corrupting the line."

He knelt before the board again and placed his hands over the crystal, a few inches away, not touching it.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

The room chilled.

"Someone else is ready too."

Sylvia murmured with a grin and Fai returned it.

"Whenever you would like to begin."

Fai nodded and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. When he spoke, he didn't make a sound. Kurogane watched his lips move though, quick and precise. He was completely still and didn't draw a single breath until he was done, finishing was a heavy, shuddering gasp. Sylvia spoke carefully.

"Is there a presence among us that wishes recognition?"

Her voice was calm and low pitched but still loud and clear. As soon as she finished speaking, Fai's arms began to move. They were locked strait and moved from his shoulders, hands hovering over but not touching the slice of crystal as it slid across the board, seemingly unaided. As it skimmed over the letters, it paused over three of them before retuning to the edge of the board. Sylvia sounded the letters out as she wrote them down on the pad.

"Y-e-s. Yes."

Fai's hair ruffled in a breeze that affected nothing else. Sylvia continued.

"What is you name?"

This time the crystal moved for longer and Sylvia didn't speak until she had finished writing down the message.

"Fai Flourite."

It chilled him to the bone.

"Fai, are you aware of whom you are addressing me through?"

There was a long pause before Fai moved again, marking the same three letters as before.

_Y-E-S_

Sylvia nodded.

"You have been trying to contact him." It was a statement, not a question. "Why is that?"

This time there were many letters and Kurogane waited impatiently for Sylvia to voice them.

"There are two reasons. The first is that you wish for him to know how you died."

There was another draft about Fai; Kurogane assumed it was a confirmation.

"And the second is that the thing keeping you here is the thing that's keeping him here as well. What do you mean by that?"

There was another pause. This time it lasted though, Fai not moving a muscle. Sylvia leant forward slightly.

"Fai?"

Nothing.

"Have we lost the conne-"

Fai slumped forward, barely managing to stay seated. The warrior jumped up but Sylvia stopped him.

"Stop, stay where you are!"

Her voice cut through the air but nothing but her lips moved; she barely shifted her eyes towards him. Her next sentence was low and controlled.

"If you break the circle it could kill him."

}{

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi guys! It's snowing sooo hard lol, I hope my power doesn't go out o.0 Thanks to Cloverfield for adding this to her Story Alert! Go read her story _Sure Of Nothing_, it's f*cking amazing. For real. You need to.**

**Moving on...**

**Review responses:**

**_wolf1380:_**

**Thank you^^ It's always nice to hear~**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**Awww I knooooow, Fai's such a bitch sometimes! But he can get any with saying anything he wants to Kuro cause Kurogane knows he needs an outlet sometimes! He knows Kuro wouldn't hurt him ever, he just has a weird sense of humor... and he's a bitch. Yes, the ghost chat is next chapter and remember, I wrote ya'll a bonus chapter that'll be posted ON halloween day which is sad and fluffy and citrusy lol. I gave you a bit of a happier ending on this chapter lol.**

**Alright everyone, please review and ENJOY~**

**}{**

_"Stop! If you break the circle it could kill him!"_

The ninja was breathing heavily, clenching and unclenching his fists. Fai didn't twitch.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know."

When the ninja opened his mouth to yell at her, she cut him off with a shout of her own.

"I _do_ know what's happening, I just don't know how!"

She was clearly agitated which was less than comforting. She shook her head, calming herself.

"It might be possible simply because they have the same soul…"

"What might be possible?"

"Well… I'm positive he took precautions against complete possession, but he's currently… _sharing his mind…_"

"You mean possessed."

"No, not exactly; possession would mean he was still conscious or at least _appeared_ to be. At the moment it looks like he's just having a vision. It shouldn't hurt him."

"_Shouldn't_?"

Sylvia sighed.

"I would be very surprised if it did."

Fai was _impossibly_ still, his hair hiding his face. Without warning, something gut-wrenching occurred to the ninja and he couldn't stop his outburst.

"_He's not breathing._"

"Of course he's not breathing," Sylvia snapped, "He's inhabited by the dead, the dead don't _breath_."

She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kurogane was getting ready to come back at her when Fai, ever the mediator, jerked to life with a gasp of breath. He sat there panting, hands on the ground in front of him, his hair in his eyes. It took several minutes of gasping for him to catch his breath. When he did he looked up, turning his head to track down Kurogane before offering a small, real, smile.

"I know… I know where the feather is…"

}{

They wasted no time, finding the kids and Mokona and following Fai, who seemed to be slipping in and out of a trance.

Sylvia carried Mokona at first, seeming fascinated by it. Then it started talking and she quickly foisted it off on Sakura, moving forward to join Kurogane and Fai.

Every few minutes Fai would stop completely and just stand, staring into space. Or worse, he'd pitch forward and Kurogane would have to scramble to make sure he didn't slam into the stairs ahead of him. After that happened a few times the ninja began walking close to him, keeping a hand at his back to prevent any accidents. Fai was in his own world and Kurogane was worried. He caught Sylvia's eye and she shrugged.

"The spirit is still trying to contact him but because he isn't trying to contact the spirit, it's only able to affect him at all because they share a soul."

Kurogane nodded. They were climbing the maintenance stairs at the center of the building. He had suggested the elevator, but Fai had snapped to just long enough to refuse, saying in his vision he had gone up the stairs. He so rarely insisted upon anything, no one felt the need to argue.

So they climbed the tan coated metal staircase for almost twenty minutes before Fai burst onto the roof ahead of them all. He broke into a jog and the ninja followed suit, not willing to let him get too far ahead.

Half way there Fai yanked his shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side. Kurogane grabbed it out of the air though, transfixed by the light pink outlines on his back, showing where his ornate marking had once been.

"Are you insane? It's not _that_ warm!"

Then he realized where Fai was going.

"The water-"

"The feather is at the bottom."

Fai picked up his pace and Kurogane did the same.

"Idiot, you're not quite… normal yet, what if you black out? Let me go get it, I'll-"

"No," Fai shook his head without looking over. "You think you can make it up that ladder?"

Kurogane was going to ask what he was talking about until he noticed that yes, the ladder to the hatch at the top of the water tower was thin, rusted and falling apart. Other than Fai, Sakura was the only one it would hold and that wasn't even considerable. Even the kid weighed more, just because of the way he was built.

Down to just a pair of tight jeans, the blonde tested the bottom rung and when it didn't crumble to dust he continued upwards.

Kurogane and the rest were left to watch. Sylvia tilted her face towards the tower and spoke, eyes closed.

"There certainly _is_ a strange power coming from that tower. It's not steady though…"

"Yeah!" Mokona shouted from Sakura's arms, "That's why Mokona couldn't find it even though it was right here! The water makes the power come out all wavy so even when we're right here it feels far away!"

Kurogane watched Fai reach the top of the ladder and pull himself onto the ledge that rimmed tower, right next to a small entrance, the hatch that had once been attached to rusted hinges long gone.

Fai whirled around and gave them all a mock salute, catching Kurogane's eye as he did so before turning back and sliding into the opening. After a few seconds there was a faint, dull splash.

It was ridiculous, the anxiety he felt. It was a water tower, not lake of monsters. There was no reason the blonde wouldn't come back.

But he couldn't look away, kept trying to lock onto the mage's aura. Ladder be damned, if something happened to him he'd be up there after him one way or another.

But then a mop of blonde hair appeared over the ledge and he could breath again-when had he started holding his breath?- and Fai pulled himself the rest of the way out, holding the feather aloft.

Mokona cheered and he laughed, swinging his legs over the edge and jumping, not catching the ladder until the last second and and climbing the rest of the way down. When he reached them he offered the princess the feather with a wink.

"Look, and only after a week of living under it!"

Sakura gigged and accepted it, or would have had Sylvia not stepped between her and Fai, not touching but stooping to examine the feather like a scientist.

"This makes sense; the thing keeping your spirit here was the same thing keeping you here."

Everyone looked at her and she explained with a pained sigh.

"This feather was keeping it here. When you die, your instinct is to go to the closest, strongest source of power which, at the time of death, should be the next plain. But if this feather was here than it's power would be closer and about as strong, so any spirits trying to cross over would be draw to it. Every time it tried to cross over, the spirit simply traveled to the roof."

Sakura looked miserable.

"That's so sad! Will he be able to cross over now?"

Sylvia attempted a smile, but she looked more like she was bearing her teeth.

"Yes, it shouldn't have any more problems."

"Fai what's that?"

Mokona jumped down from Syaoran's head. Sylvia winced and turned to watch Syaoran help Sakura absorb the feather, asking questions.

"Wha- oh!"

Mokona was pointing to something glinting in the sunlight, hanging from Fai's pocket.

"It was dark in there but I saw this reflected in the light from the feather. I just shoved it in my pocket."

He pulled it out, revealing a long, thin gold chain with a charm hanging off of it. Closer inspection revealed the charm to be a chunk of crystal with flat rays of gold shooting out behind it. It was exactly identical to the top of the staff that Fai had started their journey with.

"Looks familiar, doesn't it?"

He grinned at Kurogane and Sylvia looked up from where she was watching Sakura sleep after absorbing her feather, asking Syaoran if that was normal. Her eyes widened and she yelled.

"Drop it!"

The necklace dropped and Fai went with it.

}{

After Fai passed out, Kurogane had taken the necklace from his cold hands and scooped him up, carrying him back down to their apartment flanked by Syaoran carrying Sakura and Sylvia who was reluctantly carrying Mokona.

They'd set Sakura down on a bed and Fai had gone to the couch. Kurogane sat watching him with Sylvia, once again alarmed by his lack of movement.

"It's the dead-don't–breath thing again, right?"

She nodded.

"The spirit wasn't able to contact him but when he started touching that charm, it became a link; something they had both touched. He's having another vision."

This time though it was four hours before Fai began to stir. It wasn't a gasping fit that started his breathing once more, but a slow calm intake of breath. His eyes darted quickly around the room before settling on Kurogane himself. It was an instant before the tears started rolling down his face and the ninja rushed forward. Sylvia pushed herself between the two though, studying Fai carefully.

"What did you see?"

The blonde shook his head, kept his eyes locked on Kurogane's. He wiped his own tears away.

"My other self... My other life..."

He was obviously shaking and not focused on the questions Sylvia was firing at him; eventually the ninja pulled the woman away, told her to go home. He took her spot beside Fai and didn't ask a single question when the blonde put his head down in his lap and cried, not sobbing but quiet and controlled. He didn't hesitate when it was obvious the mage wanted to be held. He didn't feel guilty when he reached down and stroked his hair. He didn't stop even when Fai drifted off to sleep; he sat vigil over him well into the night, working out tangles and then creating more.

}{

The first thing he noticed when he woke was warmth. Not just the warmth of Fai, curled like a cat in his arms as they lay together on the couch, but the warmth of the apartment surrounding them. He'd fallen asleep without thinking to get a blanket but he wasn't cold in the least. In fact, he was a bit warm; he remembered that the thermostat was set somewhere in the nineties and smiled.

Fai squirmed in his hold when he woke, but didn't pull away. Instead he turned so that he was facing the ninja and touched their noses together.

"Good morning, Kuro-sama..."

"Good morning..."

Kurogane sat up and brought the smaller with him so that Fai ended up straddling his lap.

"So what ex-"

And then Fai leaned up and kissed him.

It was out of the blue, but a long time coming to be sure, and it was filled with all the longing of sleepless nights and fearless dreams.

}{

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hiiiii~ **

**Review responses:**

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**Your name never gets any easier to type lol... And I'm kind of jealous of YOU; I LOVE snow, but I love it AFTER November lol**

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**Aww, don't feel bad! I really appreciate you reviewing at all! I love all of your stories, 'Sure of Nothing' just happens to be my fave ^^- Yes, they finally kiss, last version they didn't kiss at all lol**

**Alright thanks everybody! Tomorrow is the last chap, so please review~**

**}{**

It felt like he was falling, except he never hit the ground. He remembered Kurogane reaching for him, did he catch him? It felt like he was still falling though, the air rushing past him, his heart in his throat.

When the blackness took him he was ready. The blackness was death, it had to be. Death was what he'd been waiting for; the release of everything, the pain, the guilt, the suffering. Death was nothing. In death he could be free.

}{

_Waking is like waking from a deep sleep, heavy and reluctant. He doesn't want to get up but something's telling him he has to._

_He's laying across the couch of all places; even disconcerted as he is he knows that can't be right. He sits and see's his surroundings, not afraid, only confused. Fear doesn't come easily to those who would welcome death. Disappointment is easier to come by and Fai feels it. In death he'd hoped for nothing. Instead he found this:_

_The couch is seated atop an isolated patch of their wooden living room floor. Around him swirl disjointed images; Ruby in her arm chair, his and Kurogane's bedroom. The ninja carrying him down the stairs, his body slack, unconscious. Hazy blues and purples shift around him as he sees himself and Ashura-ou. The man strikes him across the face and he looks away, focusing on an image of himself and Kurogane, dripping wet in the lobby of their building. He doesn't recognize it and then Kurogane leans down and _kisses_ him and he know's it's nothing that's happened to him. It was his image, waterlogged and laughing. Then he sees Ashura again and he winces, glances around for more of the warrior._

_"You can't run from it you know."_

_He whips towards the source of the voice and stares into his mirror image, smiling sadly. He makes to stand then realizes he doesn't have anywhere to go._

_"You can't ignore me, I _am_ you."_

_"You're not him."_

_"Our brother?"_

_He nods._

_"You never really thought I was, otherwise you wouldn't have fought me when I tried to contact you."_

_He wants to argue but it's true._

_"What do you want?"_

_"I want you to watch."_

_"Why should I watch something I already know?"_

_"Because you _don't know_, not really. You think you know, but you don't."_

_Ashura has him pinned to the wall. He whispers something close to his face but without Mokona he can't understand what he says. He can hear the hate in it though._

_"It's my fault. It was my curse that drove him to that."_

_His image shakes his head, looks away._

_"_I_ wasn't cursed. I was a good person. I never hurt anybody, _except_ for Kuro."_

_Fai snorts._

_"So how did _your _Fai die?"_

"_Of cancer. In a hospital. After years of suffering. There isn't a thing in this world that could have saved him, let alone me."_

_"What about King Ashura?"_

_Unexpected laughter bubbles from his image and Fai feels himself tense._

_"Does your Kuro call him that too?"_

_"What?"_

_His image keeps smiling, though it's sad once again._

_"Mine always called him lord Ashura or his majesty, just making fun of him."_

_"Oh..." Fai smiles for the first time himself. "In Celes he really was my king."_

_"That makes sense..." He thinks for a moment before continuing. "He... When I think of it now, our relationship was never... healthy. I was so young when we met and so _grateful. _I'd have done anything he asked, _anything_, and that's the way he wanted it. When I got older I... I'd been with him for three years before I was legally an adult. He knew me as a child... obedient, eager to please. I was a _pet._" He shakes his head, looks away. "I didn't realize that until I met Kurogane and it took even longer to realize how _wrong_ it was. I had never known anything else."_

_"So you cheated on him with Kurogane?"_

_There was an air of accusation to his tone but his image shook his head._

_"He kissed me, once, twice. Mostly he held me. Ashura _assumed_ he'd touched me long before he actually did and even then it was never for anything other than comfort. I'd come to him bleeding and crying and just... A mess, and he'd bandage me up and sit up with me until the tears stopped and... He'd try to reason with me, ask me not to go back but I was too stubborn... We never, but knowing everything I know now... I would give _anything_ to have been with him, just once. If I knew Ashura was was going to do this anyway I would have. Maybe then I would have had the sense to leave and we'd be together."_

_"That why you crawled into bed with him?"_

_"A little. I never had the... privilege of falling asleep next to someone who loved me. You have no idea how lucky you are."_

_"Mmmm..."_

_He watches his own eyes roll._

_"Don't get all possessive with me, _he_ thought it was you."_

_"True..." He thinks for a minute, then feels his heart drop. "What did you mean, Kurogane's the only person you hurt? He's not... _dead_, is he?"_

_His image closes his eyes._

_"I don't know. I've seen him since I died but that was when I _first_ died. I was stronger. I could travel. Time here is hard to gage but I think it's been years since I've been strong enough to leave the apartment-"_

_"Where. Is. He."_

_He gives a deep shuddering sigh._

_"Rikers."_

_"I... don't know what that it."_

_"_Rikers Island. _It's a prison. It's _hell."

_"Why... Oh no. Oh my God, _no_."_

_His image nodded._

_"I used to visit him... I'd give him dreams about me. I stopped though, I... I loved seeing him happy in the dream but when he woke it was just too much."_

_"But how did it happen? Ashura killed me, why isn't he-"_

_"He was a doctor; respected. By the time the police got there Kurogane had taken the gun off of him and he had Ashura against the wall. It came down to Kuro's word against his and... Kurogane had a record after something that happened in high school."_

_"What happened?"_

_His image smoothes his hands over his eyes and draws a deep, shuddering breath._

_"Some guy tried to force himself on Kuro's sister. He beat him within an inch of his life, got charged with aggravated assault. That was all the jury needed to hear." For the first time he sees his own eyes go glassy as his image shakes his head, angry. "They didn't give him a chance. Ashura told them that we'd been having an affair and Kuro hadn't known about him. When he found out he killed me first then tried to kill Ashura. They bought it."_

_"So now he's-" _

_"In jail. Or maybe he's out now, he had twenty-five years, I'm not sure how long it's been... Time flows differently on this side of things and I can't leave here anymore... I'm so _tired_. I never thought I'd feel this tired. I thought... when I was laying there... I thought I'd see Fai... I couldn't wait to see Fai... But I can't cross over because of that feather."_

_"Well I took it so you can go... Can I wake up now?"_

_"Not yet." He winks. "Not until you tell me what you plan to do once you wake up."_

_He shrugged._

_"We have the feather now, we'll just move on, keep traveling."_

_"I figured _that_ out, I mean about Kuro-sama?"_

_"I... don't know. Should I go see him, you think?"_

_"No! No no no, absolutely not. That would be too much. Even if you did manage to find him he wouldn't understand and... you'd have to leave anyway; he'd just lose us all over again."_

_"That's true-"_

_"And anyway that's not what I meant, I meant _your _Kuro-sama."_

_"Oh... I wasn't planning on doing anything-"_

_"Then I'm stupider than I thought. I'd hoped maybe in another world Ashura wouldn't hold quite as much power over me."_

_Fai scowls._

_"Doubles all tend to live the same lives. I won't make the same mistakes are you though; the further I keep him, the less harm he'll come to-"_

_"No! Don't you get it? That _is_ what I did, or... tried to anyway. He _loves_ us though, that will never change, no matter what world we're in. You can't deny love; love is stronger than fear. But if you wait too long to let him in... Then it's too late. My mistake wasn't letting him love me it was waiting to long!"_

_"But how-"_

_"If I had let him in sooner, it would never have gotten to that point. If I had admitted to him what was going on I would have admitted it to myself and I _never _would have stayed. I would have gone with Kurogane and he would have protected me-"_

_"You would have hidden behind him-"_

_"I would have _let him protect me_, and this never would have happened. Trust him. Trust him to protect you without getting hurt. He's not like us, he won't throw his life away, he won't forget to take care of himself."_

_"But what if it doesn't matter? What if he gets hurt anyway? What if next time it's him instead of me?"_

_"Then at least no one can say you just rolled over and accepted that. _You_ can say that you did everything you could. I don't know what your circumstances are but I know you've got all sorts of hell coming at you and you can't face that on your own. At least this way if you die anyway you don't end up like this; trapped and wishing you'd done something more."_

_He can't argue. Instead he he nods silently. He thinks he might be crying. His image smiles gently, reaches out and touches his face._

_"I thought at first you might have been Fai. You act like him, but I guess I did that too. We spend so much time pretending to be him but we don't make the decisions he would. He wouldn't have to be _told_ to be happy. Don't you think?"_

_"You're right... How come we're the same person but we think so differently?"_

_He watches himself laugh, a real laugh, although maybe a little sad._

_"This is your first try at your life. I've been watching mine over and over for years. After the third or fourth time around, you start to see things more clearly. I... couldn't rest knowing that every single other version of myself would do the same thing. I had to know that somewhere out there I was happy."_

_}{_

**ありがとう,**

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


	14. This time won't you save me?

**Please read Authors Note at the bottom.**

**}{**

**Music: Save Me**

**By: Nicki Minaj**

**}{**

"I'm Fai."

"Kurogane."

And then he smiles and it's the most heartbroken smile I've ever seen. I can't _stop_ seeing it. I know I'll see it for the rest of my life.

}{

"Wait, how long have you known him?"

"Ashura?"

I nodded but kept my eyes on his necklace, the one he always wears. He's sitting in my kitchen, watching me fix it; the clasp broke when it got caught in his hair and he asked me to untangle it. I felt so fucking guilty with my hands in his hair, like I was taking advantage of him.

But then he tells me Ashura-that boyfriend of his-gave it to him for his eighteenth birthday which left me wondering just _how_ much older he is. Fai's only nineteen; he's still a kid and Ashura... Ashura's _not_.

"I met him when my brother was in the hospital... he's a radiologist. When my brother died our... our parents threw me out. Ashura took me in."

"How old were you?"

"... Fifteen."

}{

"I... don't know if that's a good idea..."

But he wants to, I can tell. He's lonely and it radiates off of him. Ashura works long hours and Fai's stuck in that apartment.

"Why not?"

"I usually eat with Ashura..."

"Oh, has his majesty returned?"

He flinches and I hate myself for saying it but it's true; the way Fai talks about him you'd think the man was God himself.

"No... he won't be back until morning..."

"Then come eat with me. There's no reason for you to be stuck there by yourself, that's crazy."

He looks surprised, then he nods and shows me that smile again.

"Okay..."

}{

"Hey."

"H-hey..."

He's not looking at me, just staring at the ground. He's edging towards the stair well.

"What the matter?"

"I-um, need to... to go..."

"Fai look at me."

He shakes his head, turns away. Before I know what I'm doing I'm racing him to the stairs. I grab his arm as soon as I'm close enough and he panics, tries to pull away. I'm stronger.

"_Look at me damn it."_

His head snaps up and there it is, a huge purpling bruise, high on his cheek. By the time I realize I'm staring he's pulling away, disappearing down the stairs.

}{

He has no presence.

That's not true, he has a _huge_ presence.

He's a firecracker.

But Ashura makes him... smaller.

}{

When he knocks I barely hear it. It's two in the morning and I know it's him. It's been months since the first bruise and there have been plenty between now and then. He hasn't been to see me since but I know it's him the way I know the moon is full tonight, just by how bright the sky is.

When I open the door he looks like he's trying to disappear. I don't say anything until he looks up. His eyes are red. He's been crying again.

"H-hi..."

"Hi."

Neither of us moves and then-

"I... should go..."

And he turns and I grab his hand. There's a bright red mark on the side of his face.

"He hit you."

He shakes his head.

"No..."

}{

I hear him.

Not Fai, I never hear Fai. When Ashura yells I don't think he even speaks, just stands there and listens. I want to call the police, show the bastard _someone_ knows what's going on.

Better yet I want to kill him or at least give him the same treatment he gives Fai; let him see what it feels like to be threatened and accused and _hurt_. He thinks Fai's cheating on him with me. I've never touched him.

But I love him.

I've never told him but he has to know.

Because if I didn't love him I'd have killed that bastard by now.

Instead I do what he wants; I pretend to believe he's not hurting him, I let him go back there every day, I patch him up when he comes to me, bloody and bruised, and I don't make him come up with explanations because I know if I press him he'll get scared and leave. He deserve to have someone to go to who he doesn't feel threatened by.

And that's so stupid it _has_ to be love.

}{

"Why do you stay?"

I swipe the cotton ball over his temple and it comes away bloody. There's blood clotted in his hair and he winces at the burn of antiseptic... maybe it was my question.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do, don't _lie_..."

He's leaning his head against my shoulder while we sit on my bathroom floor but when I speak it's like I flipped a switch. He jerks away and I grab him out of surprise. I realize my mistake; 'liar' is a common word during Ashura's rants.

When he pulls away I automatically resist until I end up pulling him into my lap. He's struggling and upset but I can't let go of him cause I _need_ him to know I didn't mean to say that.

"Fai... _Fai!"_

He freezes. He's shaking. I'm holding him from behind, just trying to calm him down.

"Shit... I... I _would not_ hurt you, _ever_. You hear me?"

But instead he turns, buries his face in my neck and _cries_.

}{

It's pouring rain and I'm running for the door.

Fai somehow materializes next to me.

He's drenched, his hair is sticking to his face and I can hear him laughing. I haven't heard him laugh in _so long_.

We stumble into the lobby, water logged and lightheaded from the rain. I grab him and kiss him, quickly but firmly, then pull away. He stares for a second before throwing himself against me and kissing me back.

}{

"What's your name?"

"... Silly, you know my name."

"Ashura doesn't call you Fai."

He looks up at me; he's curled against me on my couch. We've never done anything more than kiss but sometimes when he comes to me, tears still fresh on his cheeks, he'll let me hold him. It's never long before the guilt sets in and he pulls away, but for a few minutes at least, he's happy.

"How do you know that?"

"Our apartments share a wall blondie, I hear a lot."

He turns to me, eyes wide and I realize he really doesn't know how much _I know_. Slowly he relaxes again and puts his head down on my chest, face tipped up so I can feel his hot breath on my neck.

"_My name is Yuui."_

_"Youou."_

}{

"Why? Why can't you? Enlighten me!"

"Kurogane he took _care_ of me, I owe him my life, I can't _leave_ him!"

"Don't you realize how fucked up that sounds? You were a _kid_ Fai, he _didn't _take care of you he took advantage of you!"

"He was the first person to show me _anything like_ kindness, he's not a bad person I just don't know what I'm supposed to _do! _It wasn't always like this, I don't know what I _did_!"

He drops to his knees, slams his hand over his mouth and I watch as his shoulders shake, silent.

"Whatever kindness he gave you he gave it at a price and that's not real kindness. You didn't do anything to deserve this, this is _him, _ why don't you see that?"

}{

I sleep on the couch because I figured out a while ago that my bedroom wall is _their_ bedroom wall.

I think hearing them in bed might be worse then hearing Ashura drunkand bullying Fai because those nights where he's all apologies-for bruises for words for tears-are the nights that keep Fai under his thumb. They're also the nights he's most miserable.

}{

He has a hickey, high on his neck where he can't cover it with anything but his hand which he has firmly clamped over it, flushing miserably even as we speak.

"I'm not stupid, you can put your hand down."

His sighs and does as I say, crossing his arms and glancing sidelong at the wall.

"I'm sorry."

It catches me off guard.

"Why?"

His smile is humorless, self-deprecating.

"For being a _slut. _You deserve better than this Kuro, you shouldn't have to look at this and know-"

I silence him with a kiss and wait until he melts against me to put my arms around him and move my lips to his neck. He whimpers softly at my bite and moans when I sooth the fresh mark with a touch of my lips.

"Don't say that, _ever_, okay?" ... "Yuui?"

"Okay."

}{

If I could have that moment back I would never have let him leave. I would never have kissed him goodbye thinking I'd see him the next day and the day after that and that when he was ready he'd leave Ashura on his own and we'd be together. I would have made him stay, dealt with Ashura when he got back, not let Fai anywhere hear him. Maybe then it would have been me instead of him and _that_ would have been enough for him to leave, go to the police, find someone who really loved him. Even if it wasn't me, if they loved him, I would have been okay with that.

}{

It's three in the morning.

It seems louder than before.

Something's different.

I hear Fai.

I've never heard him talk back, never heard him raise his voice in anything other than desperation.

I'm up and out the door before my brain can stop me.

Their door must have been unlocked because I sure as hell didn't knock.

But I don't have time to think about that because Fai is against the wall, bruised and horrified, staring at me like I never knew this was happening. Ashura has his hand on his arm and when he sees me he grips had enough for Fai to wince. He yanks him in front of himself, grabs his hair and wrenches until I can see the love bite I left him with.

"Did you think I wouldn't _notice_ or were you just goading me?"

"He was upset, I was trying to help-"

"Whether or not he's upset is not your concern-"

"Well it has to be somebody's and it sure as hell isn't _yours."_

Ashura sneers and shoves Fai away from him. The blonde stumbles but catches himself.

"Kurogane you need to leave, _now_."

His voice is firm almost angry but his eyes are pleading. He's trying to protect me, like I'm the one who needs protecting.

"_Shut up."_ He sneers in Fai's direction, then turns to me. "You heard him Suwa, out."

He's not drunk; I always thought he was drunk when he did this.

H's completely sober, but not sane. His eyes are haunted.

"He's only saying that cause he's trying to protect me. You need to calm down-"

"_I_ need to calm down? You're _fucking_ him and _I _need to calm down?"

"I'm not _fucking_ him." I'm snarling. In the back of my mind I hear Fai call me 'Kuro-woof'.

"No? Then why do you care?"

_"Because I love him!"_

It comes out of no where, flies out of my mouth like a bird from a cage. Fai, for one perfect, surreal second looks happier than I've seen him in months. His eyes are huge and shining, like twin stars; supernovas.

"_Kurogane_."

His whisper is the loudest thing I've ever heard, and in the silence afterwards I can hear my blood moving through my veins; I can hear his heartbeat.

"You little _slut_."

And the moment breaks and Ashura turns on Fai grabs his hair. Fai doesn't seem to even register it, eyes locked on mine, lips parted, face filled with this tragic desperate happiness.

_I_ register it though and I lunge forward, grab his wrist and wrench it away from the Fai.

"You don't _fucking_ touch him!"

Fai ends up behind me, holding onto my arm while Ashura and I stare each other down. Something's not right with his eyes; he looks crazed.

I'm so fixed on his eyes I don't see the punch coming. It smashes into the side of my face and sends me flying back a few feet before I catch my balance. When he goes for Fai I grab his arm and use his own force to send him crashing back the way he came. We end up in the same position, glaring at each other. Fai's off to the side, looking back and forth. I want to tell him to leave, go to my apartment and wait, but I don't think he would.

"I'll touch him whenever I want, he's _mine_-"

"He's no one's-"

"I took care of you," He turns to Fai and he shrinks back. I see the guilt in his face and want to scream. "I took you in when your parents didn't _want_ you; nobody else _wanted_ you. What makes you think someone besides me wants you _now_?"

Fai's shaking but I can't answer for him, not that the bastard deserves an answer.

But then Fai's shaking turns from fear to anger. His eyes are alight again but not with that soft glow that came when I said I loved him; this was blazing hot, burning with the fuel of repressed fury.

"Maybe _I _want _him_!"

The room is frozen and Ashura cocks his head. His features are blank and his voice is heavy, controlled.

"What did you just say?"

"I..." He turns to me, eyes _shining_. "I love you-"

"_Bitch_!"

He punches and there's no time for Fai to move or for me to step between them. His hand smashes across his face and Fai, too small to absorb the blow like I had, hits the wall.

Ashura smirks and turns, walks away. Fai's cheek is red and he looks like he's ready to pass out but he fights it. I steady him on his feet.

"You alright?"

He smirks, unconvincing.

"Nothing I've never felt before."

I touch my forehead to his affectionately.

"C'mon, we need to get out of here."

He nods against me.

"Okay."

But at the sound of footsteps I turn. We're next to the door; if he takes one step closer I'm pushing Fai out and dealing with him myself.

But he doesn't step closer.

He raises his hand.

His gun.

Fai's faster than me, always has been. When he pulls the trigger Fai's next to me, then in front of me, then on the floor.

Ashura's just staring; I was his target. He still has the gun. I don't give a fuck.

I'm on my knees next to him before the shot stops ringing in my ears.

His blood is _everywhere_.

The wound is on his chest.

Right above his heart.

There's nothing I can do; I know that before Fai tells me, smiling that beautiful, prefect fucking _tragic_ smile of his.

His breath is already shallow.

"I... I..."

I don't know what to tell him; I've never been good with words.

So I kiss him.

And he kisses me back, smiles weakly when I touch his face.

And then he's gone.

}{

It's a blur.

I turn on Ashura.

He raises the gun.

I take it off him.

Hit him across the face with it.

I'm yelling something.

I have no idea what.

And then there's police.

And they're pulling me off of him.

And they're pulling the gun away from me.

And they're cuffing me.

}{

I dream of him all the time.

Fai.

_Yuui._

Sometimes they're erotic

Sometimes they're sad.

Either way it hurts to wake up

}{

I always feel like he's with me afterwords.

I _smell_ him.

Shampoo and rain.

Feel him.

See him out of the corner of my eye.

}{

_Slowly, the dreams became less lucid._

_I lost that feeling the he was over my shoulder._

_Lost his smell._

_Lost his touch._

_But I never stopped dreaming of him._

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**Last chapter you guys! I'm sorry I posted it so late but it's halloween you know, I'm buuuuusy lol. Incidentally, if you didn't get the last bit, it was supposed to mean that Kurogane still dreamt of Fai even when Fai wasn't GIVING him the dreams...**

**I'm a hopeless romantic.**

**Also, if you're _really_ confused, this was the alternate universe's Kurogane's point of view. Yeah.**

**Please review, I'll still respond**

**Also, I might post this as an independent song fic (PLease listen to the song, I played it over 100 times while I was writing this, seriously, I looked at the itunes song count and it was 100-something lol) Let me know if you think I should in your review.**

**Review responses:**

**_Xynostaph:_**

**Yes, Kuro's in Rikers but you know he's thinking about Fai EVERYDAY! They'll be together in the end! I'm sorry this chapter wasn't happier but there WAS kissing so... yeah :D**

**Thank you sooooo much for your wonderful reviews of all of the chapter. You have no idea how much it meant to me^^- xoxo,**

**Bella~**

**_wolf1380:_**

**Aww, I'm sorry you were having a bad day but I'm glad this cheered you up^^ I'm like that with a lot of fanfics; you see the alert in your mailbox and you just have to smile ^^ Thank you for all your reviews, they were greatly appreciated!**

**xoxo,**

**Bella~**

**_Cloverfield:_**

**Yes, that's right, sorry that wasn't a little clearer ^^' Fai's not particularly lucky. Not cursed, but not lucky lol. Thanks so much I hope this chapter delivered! Also thank you for your reviews! It means so much to me that someone who's stories I love sooo much would take the time to read mine^^-**

**xoxo**

**Bella~**

**_SoulStealer121:_**

**Thank you very much! I'm not entirely sure how that works either but I'm glad you think so^^- Thank you very much for favoriting so many of my stories and for adding me to your favorite authors! Means so much ^^-**

**xoxo**

**Bella~**

**Thank you guys ALL so much! Remamber to review and maybe I'll have something new for you next year;)**

**xoxo**

**Bella~**

* * *

><p><strong>ありがとう,<strong>

**ハッピーハロウィン**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu**


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